A Court of Dreams and Nightmares
by Nenime01
Summary: This story is set directly after the ending of Sarah J. Mass' "A Court of Mist and Fury". Feyre has, again, sacrificed everything, and now has to deal with returning to the spring court and Tamlin. Meanwhile, Rhys, Mor and the rest of the court of dreams, struggle with Feyre's decision and the coming war.
1. Chapter 1

_First of all, thank you for reading! I appreciate any feedback coming my way. It is my intention to add a new chapter on a weekly basis, but with exams coming up I might not keep to that. I have a ton of papers to grade and I have to prepare for my duties as examiner/external examiner as well. Hopefully, it will not interfere too much with my writing._

 **Chapter 1**

 **Feyre:**

Tamlin's sparkling green eyes met mine "welcome home" he said, softly, lovingly, as if I had not shattered completely the last time I had been here. The manor house loomed around me, so different from the openness of the house of winds, or the cosy, homely feeling of the town house in Velaris.

I forced myself to smile, trying to let it reach my eyes "home", I said, a little out of breath. Tamlin obviously interpreted that as me being filled with emotion. He was not wrong I guess, it was just not the emotion he expected. The fire within me started crackling under my skin as I walked into the hall where I had been left broken.

Lucien's cunning russet eye studied me, and as I looked at him, forcing a smile on my face, his back stiffened. I would deal with him later. For now, I had to play my part perfectly. The distressed damsel, returning to safety.

I felt Tamlin's touch on my back, as he gently led me into the study. The faint smell of cedar and greens that I once found comforting, now grated in my nostrils, so different from the salt and citrus smell of my mate. _Rhys_. My mind ached, stretching beyond the vastness that the broken bargain had left in my mind, towards the bond that no one could break. I felt a slight pull inside my mind, and then a soothing caress of darkness against the bond buried deep within me. I would be okay. We would be okay.

"Feyre, you are safe. You are home." Tamlin spoke in a calm, worried voice. I realised that I hadn't relaxed my shoulders since entering the house, the memories of my former prison still lingering in my mind.

"I – I'm sorry." I whispered, with a broken voice. "Don't." Tamlin almost growled "don't ever apologise for what what they did." I realised that he thought I was apologising for leaving. Arrogant bastard. My temper flared for a second, and I could sense shadow and darkness forming in the corners of the bright room. I calmed myself – _breathe_.

I looked around the study, noticing the change in furniture, the new panels on the walls and the polished floor. "What happened" I looked at Tamlin, already knowing the answer. "Feyre, I – I couldn't control it. You were gone. Taken from me, from my own home." His breathing caught a bit as his green eyes filled with despair and rage. "You were gone." He buried his head in my lap, clinging to me as if I was his salvation. I swallowed hard, trying to push away feelings of disgust and of pure hatred as I hesitated for a fracture of a second, before stroking his golden hair. Lucien coughed and I looked to where he stood, leaning against the wall, watching my every move. He had seen my hesitation, seen the flicker of temper in my eyes. His metal eye rotated slightly, his russet one focusing solely on me, scrutinising my every move, as if he expected me to pull out an illyrian blade right here and now.

Tamlin stiffened at Lucien's cough, snarling at him "What?". Lucien cringed a bit, still keeping a watchful eye on me, on what he deemed the most threatening thing in this room, I realised. "Maybe Feyre would like to tell us what happened." Lucien said in a controlled, cold voice, so different than that of the concerned friend he had been before my departure. Tamlin rose, hearing the edge in Lucien's voice "Leave." Tamlin said in a low, stern voice. "I think we all need an explanation, don't you _Feyre?_ " He said my name with a tone of disdain, that Tamlin noticed as well. "I said: leave." Tamlin's voice had grown dark, a high lord, issuing an order to his subject. Lucien shrugged and walked out, his metal eye casting a last glance at me.

I was relieved. Dealing with Lucien right now, was more than my raw emotions could handle. As Tamlin turned towards me however, I started wishing for Lucien to come back. He had been a shield against Tamlin getting too close. I watched as those green eyes began to smoulder, as he took me in, his eyes raving all over my body. I was furious.

"I missed you" he said in that primal voice that would have left me weak-kneed a year ago. I couldn't handle this. Not now. Just this morning, I had woken in the arms of Rhysand, as the new high lady of the night court, and now, not twelve hours later, I was back in the house of my oppressor. I looked at Tamlin, _traitor, liar_ "I know." I whispered, as I carefully twisted towards him and fake fainted. I felt him catch me, calling my name.

As he lowered me to the rug, I let my eyes flutter open, seeing his face close, too close. His eyes, full of concern traced my body for any hidden injuries. I smiled weakly at him. "Sorry. It has been an eventful day." I said, letting my voice dwindle to a whisper. He smiled at me. Actually smiled and stroked my hair. "It is fine, my love, you need rest." He looked at me with such tenderness that I almost exploded. Almost. I had to play this part, and if his concern for my well-being kept him out of my bed, at least for a little while, I could be as weak and trembling as a lamb.

He carried me to my chambers, put me to bed and started to walk out. "You know, I meant what I said." I put a fracture of strength into my voice. "I want to be a part of it. Don't shut me out. Please" How I hated that word. Hated how I had used time and again in the past, to no avail. He looked at me. "I know, We will find a way. You will be avenged and we will get your sisters back." I smiled weakly at him and he walked out, shutting the door, taking the light of the room with him. The darkness that surrounded me was a comfort and I went into my mind, stroking my fingertips against that adamant wall that lay deep within me, sending all my love and lust directly towards my mate.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 **Feyre**

It had been five days since Hybern. Five days since my entire existence had been turned upside-down once again. Five days since I had felt the touch of Rhys. Laughed with him, felt his strong hands on my body while we made love under the stars. I groaned, sending a trickle of my raving desire down the mating bond. I needed him to know just how much I missed him. A rumbling echoed back, wild and dark. I smiled to myself. He had definitely felt that one.

I gathered my thoughts, before I walked downstairs, where Lucien and Tamlin waited at breakfast. Tamlin's eyes lit as I entered the room, while Lucien gave me a stiff smile, obviously trying hard to hide his reservations towards me, for Tamlin's sake. I could see right through that façade, but I let him be – for now.

"Are you all right" Tamlin asked me as a way of greeting. I bristled and I suddenly wanted to scream at him. No I was not alright. His bargain with the king of Hybern had destroyed my family, both of blood and of choice.

Instead, I gave him a smile. "I am fine. I just went to the studio, to see if there were any paint left." Tamlin's brows rose. "You are painting again?" His voice sounded incredulous and infinitely pleased. Good. He took my painting as a sign of healing, since I had not been able to paint during those dark months after Under the Mountain.

I smiled at him, "Not yet, but I feel the colours in my mind again." My lie was as flawless as the pretty, pink dress I had put on today, with the help of my new maid. I had not yet asked what happened to Alis. I did not want to break the truce between us – not yet.

"Tomorrow I was thinking we could go for a ride, maybe visit the meadow again" Tamlin said, while digging into his breakfast.

The meadow – another day of doing nothing but pretend to be the submissive female. I forced my eyes to shine as I looked at him, "why not today?" I asked innocently.

"I have a meeting" his eyes tensed for a fracture of a second "but it will not hold me here for long and then I am all yours." His last words should have sent a hot fire burning through my body, instead I felt sick. _Murderer_ my mind whispered.

"I could join you, you know" I said carefully, "I've rested enough. I want to begin planning the rescue of Nesta and Elain."

Lucien's eyes snapped to my face at the mention of Elain, his mate. A feral gleam shone in his eye and his metal eye focused solely on Tamlin, tension rolling off Lucien in waves. Interesting. It seemed Lucien had already tried to convince Tamlin to let him go save Elain, but since nothing had happened, I could only assume that Tamlin had forbidden it.

I continued, lining my sweet tone with just a slight notion of steel. "I want them to pay, Tamlin. For what was done to me and to you. For the suffering we had to endure." I purposely did not specify who 'they' were. "I know. They will, I promise you."

He hesitated looking down at my hand where a swirling black pattern had been inked into my skin, only to be removed by the breaking of the bargain between Rhysand and me.

"I am not his anymore." My voice had cooled.

"I know." Tamlin straightened, "and I promised to try, and so I will. You cannot join me today, but I promise that we will talk tomorrow. Make plans." His voice became a command. "Lucien, take care of Feyre today. Make sure she is not alone." My back stiffened, as did Lucien's. I groaned internally, not looking forward to a day filled with Lucien's constant scrutiny. Lucien just looked at me, devoid of feeling. A small part of me longed for the friendship we had once shared, the friendly banter and snarky comments. Another part of me wanted to scream at him for not standing up for me, for himself, against Tamlin's misguided protection.

"Tell me, Feyre, was it easy pointing that arrow at me back in those mountains?" Lucien's voice sounded strained. We had been walking the gardens in silence, enveloped in the light smell of roses for the past hour. "Or throwing that knife at Tamlin when we were at Hybern?" His metal eye fixed on me, as if he could see through my carefully orchestrated half-truths.

"Lucien, you know that I could not control myself." I sighed, making sure my mental shields were intact, just in case. "I have…"

"You lie" He interrupted calmly. Too calm. I looked at him putting every bit of innocence and bewilderment into my eyes, "Why won't you believe me?" My eyes glistened with fake tears and I actually felt sick about having to act this way. I wanted to loosen the power in my veins and unleash myself on the world.

"I _saw_ you in those woods. You were ready to kill me. For him, you would have done it. I was your friend and you turned on me, with no sign of regret or struggle." His voice rose a bit, almost growling in my face. "At Hybern, I watched you. You were cornered, weeping for that BEAST and his wings, for the shadowsinger and that entire court. When you freed yourself from Rhysand, your first instinct was to protect that court. Keep them from harm. You even let them take off with your sisters, without reacting. So don't tell me, that you do not keep secrets, Feyre. Don't tell me that your allegiances have not changed. Your bargain may be broken, but you do not belong to the spring court." Lucien shook with pent-up anger, keeping both eyes on me.

I wanted to laugh right into his face and show him what the high lady of the night court could do. I felt the shadows gathering in my mind, ready to be wielded. The power was so alluring that I almost yielded to it, but as his words sunk in, I saw a city of starlight, before my eyes, and afterwards, mental images of Mor, Amren, Azriel, Cassian and lastly Rhys. My vision filled with images of my court, of home. I had to carry on, be the spy they needed to defeat the threat towards Prythian.

I gave Lucien a velvet smile, releasing some of that anger that I had such difficulties containing, "You do not know me. You knew Feyre the human, but once I turned, you ignored who I was, clinging to that innocent girl who needed protection. You betrayed my friendship in those long months after Under the Mountain. You watched me suffer and did nothing. Your loyalty for Tamlin would have killed me." I hissed. "I was wasting away! At least Rhysand had the courtesy of taking me out, even if it was just to use me." Lucien cringed away from my anger, which was only rising.

"I shattered into a million pieces, and when I returned, I was in a different court, with strange people, but at least I felt free."

Lucien just stared at me, wide-eyed, with an unreadable expression. "Feyre, I _am_ sorry for how I behaved. How we both behaved." He said, apologising for Tamlin too, as if they were one and the same. "But you must try to understand me. Tamlin is my high lord. He has done more for me than anyone in this world." His shoulders slackened as he continued. "I know you are angry. That anger scares me and I can see it growing. I don't know how, or why, but I can." He straightened again. "I cannot figure you out and until I trust you again, I will not stop watching." He looked determined, yet infinitely sad as he turned his back on me and left the garden.

I shook myself, trying to make sense of Lucien and his behaviour. I could not understand him, but I had to figure him out, if I were to have any chance of destroying the spring court from within. His mating bond with Elain was just another piece of the puzzle that I would have to take into account.

Seeing that Lucien obviously had no intention of spending the day with me, despite Tamlin's orders, I retreated to the studio, where I slapped some paint on canvas, not really caring how it looked or what I painted. I just needed the excuse to be alone. In there, no one watched me, which meant that I could begin using my powers, at least small portions of it, to keep up my training.

In the evening, Tamlin returned and after an excrusiating dinner with too many niceties, I retired early, claiming that I was tired and had a headache. Tamlin looked at me with such tenderness that my blood began to boil and I went to bed feeling restless and homesick.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

 **Feyre**

I tried to go to sleep, but the rustling of the trees, the faint smell of the roses that were once so familiar, so comforting, threatened to overpower me. I threw open the windows, letting in the cool night air. I missed home. The night sky seemed to beckon me, calling me home.

. My hands began to tremble, as my thoughts wandered to what had happened at Hybern. The sacrifices that my entire court had made, the terrible price that my sisters had paid because of me. Nesta would never forgive me, not because of her own transformation but for Elain. I should have insisted that they followed us to Velaris, when the mortal queens denied us their part of the book of breathings. I could have forced them. And know they had paid with their mortal lives. My entire body shook, as tears started to gather in my eyes.

Here, alone in my room I could allow myself a few moments of weakness. I let it wash over me in a huge wave of guilt, grief, fury and regret. How had this happened? Why had we not been more careful?

I curled up on my bed, desperately clinging to the bond inside me, through which I felt tendrils of soothing darkness, caressing my shields as I wept for my court, my family and the world. I needed him. My mate, my love, my friend. I needed him so desperately that it hurt.

I was jolted awake by what felt like a shift in the world. I looked around my room, and everything seemed dimmed, as if a veil had been placed on the world. In the middle of my room, a mass of darkness had formed, flecked with what seemed like starlight. I did not hesitate one second, as I stepped through that darkness and emerged in a world entirely made of the night sky. The bond inside me flipped, expanded and filled the empty void of the broken bargain, and there he was, not three feet away.

"Rhys" I cried as I launched myself at him and felt his strong arms encircle my body. "Feyre darling."

His voice sent shivers down my spine, and I pulled away just enough to trace a finger along his strong jaw, ending at his lips. He purred with satisfaction, his right hand entwined in my hair, closing the distance between us with his mouth. His tongue flicked the roof of my mouth, as I crushed my body against his, letting out a soft moan. "You're mine" I moaned against him, knowing full well the memory those words would stir. He groaned against me, trailing his hands down my taut body, caressing my back, my side, my breast. I was on fire, my breathing became heavy, and all I could focus on was him. I reached for him, wanting to feel his skin move beneath my hands, his hardness against me, inside me, not caring how this was even possible..

He let out an almost feral growl, his eyes capturing mine the moment I grazed him. "Feyre –"he whispered, my name like a prayer on his lips. I moved against him, my body aching to be united with his.

He pulled me down, placing me on that incredibly soft, starlit floor. My clothes had disappeared, like magic, as had his. I took him in, relishing his burning violet eyes, his hard muscular body and those beautiful wings. He was mine. He leaned in, pressing his naked body against mine, lazily tracing circles around my breast, before taking it into his mouth. I sucked in air, wrapping my legs around him and forcing him even closer. I ground myself against him and he let out a small laugh "Patience never was your strong-suit" and with that he was inside me, moving in perfect unison with my body. Every inch of me burned as we drove each other to the edge and beyond. Release gripped us both as our breaths mingled and I whispered, "I love you."

As we lay panting on the floor, tracing idle lines on each other's bodies, I marvelled again at the light that shone from my body, the glow of happiness. "You amaze me" Rhys said, voice soft, yet steady. I met his gaze with a smile "You are not too bad yourself." I looked down his body with a knowing look. He gave me a small laugh and pulled me into his arms. "I want to stay here forever." He said. "Where is _here_ exactly? How is this possible? Not that I complain, I could do this all night." His eyes sparkled with that wicked humour that I had missed so terribly. "Really? All night you say? Care to back up your words high lady?" And with those words, we lost ourselves in each other, my blood boiling with desire and pure joy.

I had no inkling of time passing as we let our bodies and minds unite. I could feel the mating bond between us, growing in strength as light and darkness flowed around us, merging with each other. "What _is_ that?" I said after a while, pointing towards the twirling strands of light and tendrils of darkness. "That" he purred"is us." His hands already circling my stomach, moving downwards. "Huh" I said, trying to focus, "that never happened before." His eyes met mine and I could feel the sigh in his body, as he removed his hands and sat, the floor creating a barrier to lean against. "No, it didn't. This is a combination of our mating bond and the bond we share as high lord and lady of the night court. When you accepted that title, the night court became a part you. You might say that the mating bond was expanded, creating an even deeper connection between us." He played with strands of my gold-brown hair as he continued. "This place is also a result of that connection. It is created by our mutual desires and longing. When you set your emotions free tonight, this place formed as an answer to your needs. I was finally able to reach you with more than those small strokes along the bond."

"Would I be able to follow you home?" I eyed the twirling darkness where Rhys had come from. "No, this is not like winnowing. This is… between. We are everywhere and nowhere at once and we cannot move from one place to another like this."

He pulled me close, kissing my brow. I could stay here forever, my thoughts whispered. _Forever_. But I couldn't. Not with the world on the brink of a war that would likely destroy everything, I held dear. Rhys sensed the change in me, as I sat, suddenly fully clothed again. "Tell me everything." I said, stroking his sensual hands, almost giving into my desires again. A smile tucked at the corners of his mouth and the gleam in his eyes held such promises that I stopped breathing. _Later_ , I sent down the bond between us, which was now fully healed, no trace of the wasteland the broken bargain had left behind.

"When we returned from Hybern, things were bad. Azriel and Cassian were both seriously injured, and I…" Rhys' voice trailed off as he gazed into nothing. "I was in shock, I couldn't speak. Mor had to explain to Amren what had happened and her wrath… She was furious." Rhys stood, clothed again, and began pacing. "Mor brought Nesta and Elain to the house in the mountains. It is the safest place I have to offer, at the time being." I jerked at the sound of my sisters names. "Try not to worry too much. They are alright, all things considered." He injected, seeing my reaction.

"Have they… Are they talking to you?" I stammered, trying to imagine Nesta here, in prythian, as a high fae. I thought Rhys face tightened an inch, but it was gone in a heartbeat. "Yes and no. Nesta seems to tolerate Mor, but she blames me more than anyone. I went, once... It didn't go as planned." His voice was strained "your sister is… difficult." There was no doubt in my mind that he meant Nesta. "I know." My voice hardening a bit. "Cassian has been up there with them for the last week and–" "how is he?" I interrupted, guilty that I had not asked sooner. I could still hear his screams as the king's magic tore his wings to shreds and I cringed at the memory. He had been there for me, when I needed it, both as a trainer and as a friend.

"It is difficult. His wings have to be fused with new membrane and that is no easy task. I've summoned the best healers, but even so, it will probably be months before his wings regain some of their function and there is no guarantee that he will ever fly again." Rhys explained in a strained voice. I cringed. Cassian not flying again – it was impossible to imagine. "I'm so sorry." I whispered, rising from the floor and gently placing my hand on his arm. "He _will_ fly again." Rhys said, as much to himself as to me. "I sent him away, to heal and as protection for your sisters. He and Nesta seem to have this strange connection." I straightened at that and Rhys could read the question in my eyes. "No, not a mating bond. I cannot tell yet what it is, but they are drawn to each other, even if Nesta spends most of her time hating him." I could vividly imagine my cold, distant sister ignoring Cassian and whatever connection between them. "Seems like her" I snorted.

"Feyre, there is something… About Nesta. She is… Nesta is… different somehow. There is something inside her that I cannot explain… As if the Cauldron gave more than when Elain was created."

"I know" I said, voice steady, "I felt it the moment she turned." Rhys nodded, "I promise that I will figure this out."

His strong hands caressed my new tattoo, sending tendrils of fire through my body. I forced myself to be calm. We were not finished talking, and I did not know how much time we had left. "Nesta and Elain are safe. That is enough for now."

"Your turn." He said, pulling me onto his lap.

I rested my head on his strong shoulder, breathing in the smell of him. _Later_ he laughed through the bond. Later indeed, I mused.

"I haven't talked to Tamlin about what happened. He insists on me resting and even though he has not put sentries at my door, I am never alone when I leave the manor. He spends his time in meetings, probably preparing for the Hybern forces that are bound to arrive soon." Rhys growled, and my voice turned darker at the thought of the deal Tamlin had struck with the king.

"I do not know my role yet, but today he promised that we would talk tomorrow. Hopefully, he will keep his promise and let me help." My voice was coated with steel and shadows. "I don't think he suspects. He sees what he wants to see. A fragile, docile female who cannot take care of herself and who needs constant protection. He hasn't even mentioned my sisters or how his actions sealed their fate. And Ianthe…." I could taste her betrayal on my tongue, bloodlust rising violently in me. "I have not seen her yet, but I know that Tamlin has talked to her."

The starlit space had turned darker, more feral, shadows hugging my body, waiting for my command. "Easy" Rhys whispered in my ear, and I took a calming breath, the stars reappearing.

"Lucien might be a problem. He distrusts me, and does not believe that you controlled me all that time. I feel like he knows when I am lying." I fidgeted with Rhys' tunic. "We had a fight today and his accusations got to me. I couldn't help but defend myself." Rhys tensed, but said nothing. "I told him how betrayed I felt, how much he hurt me by doing nothing when I wasted away. I didn't reveal anything I shouldn't have, but he saw me. Saw my temper and my strength and…" I swallowed "I must be more careful. Tamlin might not listen to Lucien right now, but who knows how long that lasts, if I do not learn to control myself."

Rhys eyes filled with pain. "Feyre…" he whispered, but didn't continue. I let my mind blend with his and understanding hit me. _Amarantha's whore_ it seemed to scream at me. My heart ached for him, for what he had endured and for the memories that my situation brought to life. "He hasn't claimed me like that. He won't." Rhys became utterly still beneath me "I know that he hasn't, but…" I understood. He couldn't say that it was okay if I bedded Tamlin, for my family, for my court. Couldn't because he knew how that felt – being someone's whore. But he would understand, I saw that too. He would not blame me. "It. will. not. happen." My mind caressed his, pouring every bit of conviction into the touch. He needed that. He needed my certainty, even when I had struggled with the exact same thoughts as him, since my return to the spring court. Because there was nothing I wouldn't do to keep them safe; my family, my friends, my court. His mind eased at my touch, his body relaxing as well.

I looked straight into those beautiful, violet eyes, "I will make good on my promise Rhys. I _will_ destroy the spring court."

"I know." A small smile tucked at the corners of his mouth, even though it didn't quite reach his eyes. "The high lady of the night court. Night incarnate. Deadly beautiful and on a mission. How could you not succeed?" His words slid into my bones and I could feel my confidence rising. He believed in me. I cupped his cheek and lightly brushed his lips with my own. I smiled at him and his smile finally reached his eyes. "You wicked creature." He purred as he dragged me closer to him, claiming my mouth.

 _Mine._ My mind chanted as I clung to him. I moaned his name, watching that feral gleam in his eyes as they devoured me. I straightened slightly, letting out a small laugh. "The mighty high lord, distracted by a pair of lips."

"But what lips." He mused at me, nuzzling my neck.

I held his gaze "I have to go back soon, don't I?"

His eyes darkened "yes" he said, voice strained. "There is not much night left and no one can know that you are not sleeping soundly in your bed." I could sense the pain he was in, feel his guilt about leaving me here and I loved him for it. I loved him for having those feelings, yet still supporting me in wanting to fight. I pushed lightly against his mind, letting him feel that I knew just how much he was sacrificing too.

His eyes softened for a second, then became decisive, "We need to know what the king is planning and Tamlin is the best source we have. You are our source." He was obviously trying to convince himself. His voice broke a bit. "Mor wanted to get you right away, and Amren's wrath…" he cringed at the memory, "They were ready to charge right in the front door, rules and wars be damned, but I stopped them. I stopped them…" His voice trailed off, and he looked at the floor. "Good." I said calmly, sensing that he needed my strength just as much as I needed his. "My job has just begun. I _chose_ this. _Chose_ to go to the spring court. They would have ruined our chances of winning." My eyes shone with gratitude for my new family, who would risk everything for me. "Tell them that I am here by choice. That I will join you when my work here is done and that they must do their part as well."

"As you command, my lady." Rhys' voice had lifted, a glimmer of mischief in his eyes. "Oh, shut up." I smiled. He knew that I needed this. Needed the teasing and easiness of our friendship, to deal with what was to come.

I straddled him with my legs giving him a lazy grin. "Is it later now?" His answer was a low growl that was enough to make me ache for him and I buried myself in him, craving more, more, more.

We lay breathless, entangled in each other, as the room seemed to lighten, the stars giving way to a slightly brighter night sky.

"It's time" Rhys rose, pulling me with him. "We can meet here whenever we wish, but we shouldn't meet more than once a week, and probably not for the entire night every time. Even though you may be able to cover the mating bond with your power, we shouldn't risk it." I hated it, but knew he was right. "And Feyre darling, be careful about how much you show them of your power. They do not know the full extent of it." I nodded. I had already thought about that.

He looked at me, a mixture of deep sorrow and glorious pride shining in his eyes, and I gave him one of the smiles reserved solely for him. "For the dreamers who dare to dream" I whispered, kissing him softly, longingly. I could do this. I could leave him again to go back to the spring court. For my family, my court, I could do it. I turned my back on him, walking through the swirling darkness, and right into my room at the manor.

"Morning, Feyre" Lucien's flat voice greeted me. _No, no, no, no._ My mind reeled, trying to figure out what to do. Not now. Not here. Not after tonight. My mind scrambled to get it together as I turned slowly, towards the figure leaning casually against the closed door. "Sleep well?" he mocked as he took a step towards me.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

 **Feyre**

Lucien's russet eye shone with cunning and steel as he came closer, taking in my tussled hair, the slight blush of my cheeks and that faint glow that being with Rhys left on my skin.

He circled me, a predator herding its prey. Time seemed to move all too slow, as opposed to my time with Rhys. I saw his eyes widen as he came close enough to smell the bond, smell him on my skin.

Panic took hold of my mind, as I scrambled to figure a way out of this. _Stupid, stupid, stupid,_ my mind whispered as I considered the risk that Rhys and I had taken. I should have known that Lucien would watch me, wait for me to make a mistake, especially considering our spat in the garden earlier. Was this it then? Had I gambled and lost? _No_ , I could not give in. I would not allow myself to give up.

Power rippled beneath my skin, almost impossible to hold back. I wanted to lash out, to burn and rage. I wanted to see Lucien's confidence turn to fear as he realised the power I hid. I could feel the skin on my hands shifting, claws beginning to emerge. I guess being in the Spring Court made me more in tune with my shapeshifting power, just as my visit to the summer court had made wielding water easier. I relished the feeling, ready to pounce.

A blast of worry shot down the mating bond, stronger than ever. _Rhys._ He must have felt my panic and my rising bloodlust.

And with that, the raving power turned into a calm river flowing beneath my skin. I sent a soft caress back, hoping it would be enough and then shot him out entirely.

I added to my mental shields, while masking my scent with a glamour that should be strong enough to cover the mating bond - I hoped.

"What are you doing in my room?" The ice in my voice only put a mocking smile on his face.

"The more interesting question is; what were you doing out of it?" his voice was coated with sweet venom.

"I didn't realise I wasn't allowed to leave." I snapped, angling myself towards the wall, away from him.

"Where did you go?" His russet eye held my gaze as his golden, metal eye scanned the room for hints of my whereabouts.

"Does Tamlin know that you have taken it upon yourself to sneak into my room?" I deflected, trying to buy time for my scrambled thoughts to catch up and come up with an excuse that would throw him off track. If that was even possible.

He just gave me a feral smile, "where did you go, Feyre?"

So, no distractions then. I turned my back on Lucien, staring out the window. I could almost hear Cassian roaring at me, _don't ever turn your back on your enemy, stupid._ His training was deeply imbedded in me and I had to force myself to stay that way, my back exposed.

I mentally shook myself. I had to play my role perfectly. If it meant going back to a part of myself that I had left dead, Under the Mountain, so be it. As a human, I had hid my feelings behind snarky comments and viciousness when I arrived at the Spring Court. Lucien knew that. I had to balance the part of me that had made me snap at Lucien even as a human, and the meek female that they wished I were.

I let my shoulders slump, putting raw emotion into my voice.

"It has been… difficult to adjust. This house, this room… Tamlin's evasiveness and your mistrust. I don't know. Sometimes I feel like nothing has changed."

My voice dwindled, almost to a whisper. "You don't understand. None of you do. What I have done… What _he_ made me do. Sometimes I cannot sort out what is real and what is not. What if I am evil? What if it was not just his hold on my mind that made me aim that arrow at you?"

I had to take a steadying breath. I could do this. He _had_ to believe me.

"Where were you, Feyre?" he asked for the third time, but this time, the coldness of his voice had a note of something else. Curiosity, pity or pain, I didn't care. All I needed to know was that I was getting to him. Good!

"I don't really know. I can't fully control my power. Whenever the darkness creeps in, I feel this… rush. Tonight it transported me somewhere I have never been." I spoke truthfully, omitting the part where I had spent the night in the arms of the lord of night.

"I guess… I guess I needed to get away. So yes I left, but I also returned. Doesn't that count for anything?" I said, turning to face Lucien.

Fast as lightening, he moved in and grabbed my wrists. I flinched, trying to back away, but felt only the smooth surface of the window behind me. He studied me intensely, his handsome, scarred face shifting between simmering anger and endless pain.

He leaned in closer, my mind blanking and he sniffed me. Actually sniffed me! I tore my wrists from his hands and showed him away, hard. He staggered back.

"What the hell are you doing?" I growled.

"I smelled something when you returned. Your scent was different, and I had to know." He said matter-of-factly.

I snorted and kept glaring at him, "Know what?"

"I had to be sure that it was indeed not the mating bond between you and _him_ that I sensed. Because it sure as hell felt that way." Lucien's hard eyes stared into mine, searching for the truth.

"The king broke the bond." I said, through my teeth. "Was my pain not enough to convince you?" I moved in on him, forcing him to take a step back, as I slammed my now empty arm close to his face "And this? You watched the tattoo disappear with your own eyes."

He shook his head slightly, as if to clear his thoughts. "What did I smell on you then?"

"How the hell should I know? Some fragment of the power I inherited from the night court maybe." My voice shook with pent-up anger. Lucien just stared at me, unflinching.

"You were his _mate_ , Feyre" his words were laced with disgust. "you are destined for each other." He threw up his hands in frustration, finally showing some real emotion.

"Not by choice, Lucien! A mating bond is not something you can run from, it just happens." I felt horrible. This conversation was horrible. Denying my mate, my family... I couldn't keep this up forever, and Lucien seemed hell-bent on revealing me.

Why? His focus on my mating bond seemed desperate, as if he were looking for answers to questions he did not ask. Then it hit me. _Elain_. His mating bond with Elain was new, but undoubtedly in place and all his male instincts were screaming to find her, bring her back.

The black darkness of the night had given way for the softer dark of the beckoning dawn and in that light, I saw the struggle on his face, his body. Pale skin, purple starting to show beneath his russet and metal eyes, body tense.

I suddenly recalled the tension between him and Tamlin this morning. Tension that had to do with my sister. Interesting. Maybe Lucien's unquestioned loyalty could be moved just a fracture. For Elain, for his mate.

It didn't change the fact that I needed him off my back for now. At least about the mating bond.

I reached for his mind with my power, as I had done with Tarquin at the summer court. Naturally, a shield was in place, guarding Lucien's mind – a shield of fiery logs and thorn bushes. I let myself become part of it. I was a living flame, burning in time with the shield. I became the thorn bushes, wild and poisonous. And then I was through, Lucien's mind bared before me. I was almost knocked back by the infinite sorrow I found. The suffering, the pain – it threatened to break me. I steeled my mind, focusing on his thoughts.

I made my body move, pacing before him, as I listened to his mind. _There is something not right here. Something off. What is she hiding? Maybe a mating bond is too strong to break, even for the king?_ Like burning embers on a string, I sent my own thoughts into his mind, easing his worries about the bond.

"I know it's not by choice." He said, voice softer than it had been since he entered my room.

I considered manipulating his mind into believing I was his friend again, but perhaps that would be risking too much. If my meddling in his mind ever stopped working, for some reason, he would know instantly what I had done.

I also wasn't sure that I _wanted_ him to be my friend again, after everything that had happened. I pulled back from his mind, slowly retracing my fiery path out of his mind and into the safety of my own.

I stiffened, as he took a step towards me, no, towards my chair, I realised, as he sat down, burying his head in his hands.

"You have no idea what you unleashed, when you left." The snarky, suspicious Lucien had disappeared and as he looked up from his hands, the pain I had tasted in his mind was written all over his face.

"Tam went insane. He trashed the place, then made the servants flee from his wrath. Alis…" Lucien hesitated and my breath caught.

Alis had been my friend – sort of. Giving me advice, making sure I was all right. She had let Mor take me, but at what cost. "He had her whipped for her betrayal. And then he banned her from the court, forcing her to leave, disgraced." Lucien held my gaze as my face blanched with horror.

"No" I whispered, with real feeling.  
"He made an example of her, and no one dared speak against it. He was livid."

I snapped my head at him, unwillingly letting out a low snarl. "And where were you?

"Right here. Trying to hold the court together long enough for you to return. But you never did." He pulled a hand through his red hair, frustration leaking from him.

"We searched for you, tried to find a way to get you back. Tam drove us to the brink of exhaustion."

An image of Lucien from the Illyrian forest flashed before my eyes. He had looked so tired and worn.

"When a letter finally arrived, it just told him that you had left of your own free will and that he shouldn't look for you. This convinced him that you were being forced to stay, forced to perform tasks for that… that monster." Lucien rose from the chair and began pacing the room, as if he needed to stay mobile, to keep whatever he was feeling in check.

"When we finally found you, I was relieved. Everything could go back to normal. Tam would become himself again. But then you were… changed. You looked so confident, so strong. I…I…" His voice trailed off as he sensed the temperature in the room drop.

"Normal?" My grey-blue eyes glazed with ice, cold enough to shatter bones.

He seriously felt that me being caged and pampered like a prized pet was normal. Did he really expect me to just return to the same existence that had shattered me into a million pieces, leaving me screaming on the floor?

"Yes, normal. As in before Under the Mountain. Before everything changed." Lucien, admirably, did not back down, despite my display of powers.

"So _normal_ to you is me being human? Weak and easily contained?" Shadows started to block out the returning light, gathering around me in swirls of delicious darkness.

"I died. For you. For Tamlin, For the world. I died and was Made, and now, you want me to be human again?" He backed away a few paces, but I wouldn't back down.

"I killed for you! Those innocent lives…" I was losing it. I could feel my control slipping, spiralling down into that abyss of power that roared in my bones, under my skin. _Rhys, Mor, Velaris_. My mind scrambled for something to hold on to. A tether that would keep me grounded. _Breath_ my mind whispered and the ice inside me slowly faded.

Real agony showed on Lucien's face, as the memories of Under the Mountain took hold. He had suffered at her hands too, I had to remember that. "He is hurting too, you know." Lucien looked at me wearily, as if echoing my thoughts. The only difference was that he was now speaking about Tamlin. Defending him. I wanted to growl at him, but stayed calm. "What he endured down there, with her, it changed him, just as it changed you. He was powerless against her. Forced to watch her torment you. Play with you. And later, he was forced to witness as another male, his sworn enemy, did what he could not – protect you." Lucien almost pleaded with me, willing me to acknowledge it, to back down and say that I understood.

And I did. I _did_ understand Tamlin's need to protect, and how he was every bit as damaged as me. But that was no excuse for not trying. In a way he had given up on us, idolising the memory of Feyre the human, not noticing Feyre the High Fae. His bargain with the King of Hybern was just the last straw. Rhys' voice floated through my mind, a memory from what seemed a lifetime ago. _Love can be a poison._ Tamlin had bargained with the lives of both human and faerie, giving up pieces of his land and turning me into a weapon for the king. Poison indeed.

"Please, Feyre. Try to get him back." There was no anger left in him as he begged for his high lord.

Exhaustion hit me, as I scrambled to gather my thoughts in the ever growing light of the coming morning.

"Lucien, I am home now. I am trying. We all are." This was all I could offer him.

He gave me a long look "Are you? Trying I mean?"

"Are you?" I shot back, caring less and less about my façade. He flinched. "He is not perfect, Lucien. Maybe you should consider that before blindingly following every order he issues." I was on dangerous territory. Loyalty was an ingrained part of who Lucien was. I knew that. But I wanted him to fight. To stand up for what he believed in, even if that meant going against his High Lord.

He froze, assessing my words. "You love him?" Both a statement and a question.

"Love does not mean blind obedience." I carefully avoided answering his question.

"And did you love _him_ , Rhysand? Or was that blind obedience?" His words cut through me like knives. Rhys had never forced me to obey – had never issued an order in the way Tamlin did.

I sighed. Lucien still doubted me, despite everything. I was about to launch into a new speech about how Tamlin saved me, how I had suffered, but he held up an elegant hand, stopping me.

"Don't." His voice was filled with the same angry sorrow that I had seen in his mind. He moved towards my bedroom door, but before letting himself out, he turned and gave me a knowing smirk "I know."

 _Know what?_ I wanted to scream at him, but the door closed and he was gone. Ugh… This might be more difficult than I had anticipated. And even though I was furious with Lucien – about doing nothing when I wasted away, about being loyal to the point where it hurt himself and others, I realised that I did not want him to suffer eternally. He was a victim too, in a sense.

I dragged myself to bed. I needed to sleep. Needed to process everything that had happened, both with Rhys and Lucien. I climbed under the sheets, lowering my shields just enough to feel the bond. I caressed it, before closing my eyes and as I drifted off, soothing tendrils of darkness shot back through the bond.

I was brutally awakened by three insistent knocks on my door. "Feyre, are you up?" _Tamlin._ I sat up straight as he entered my room. "We need to talk." I started to rise but he interrupted me. "No, stay there, I will join you." His voice was husky and full of promises, and just like that, Tamlin slid under my covers.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

 **Rhysand**

Her smell lingered on me as I stepped into my bedroom – _our bedroom_ I reminded myself, even if we had only spent one precious night in that room together. I immediately winnowed near the house of winds, letting my wings spread as I soared towards the balcony. I just needed a couple of seconds alone, with my thoughts.

The soft, alluring light of the coming morning slowly filled the horizon, so in contrast with the roiling emotions I tried to keep under wrap. My people needed me. My court depended on my strength and clarity, when everything around us seemed to be crumbling.

 _Feyre_. Her sacrifice was like a living flame in my body. My beautiful, strong mate. My high lady. It was a constant struggle not to unleash myself on the spring court. To let the darkness flow free with me at its tip, to bring her back.  
I steadied myself, letting the centuries of keeping myself in check set in. She was all right. She wanted this. Wanted to be the one to bring down that court and the high lord who had foolishly tried to cage her in. A brutal smile curled on my lips. Feyre deserved her revenge. I just had to control my male instincts, because she had every bit as much right to fight for our people as I did.

"You saw her." Mor rushed to meet me, looking haggard and drained – as she had looked since our return from Hybern.

"I did." I strode into the house, pouring myself a glass of wine.

"Well…" Mor tapped her foot angrily as she tried to read my face.  
"She is…" Pure, undiluted panic blasted through the bond, interrupting me. The world seemed to slow as I watched the glass of wine fall from my hand, pivoting towards the floor. The contents splayed out, looking like small droplets of blood. My worry and fear shot down the bond, while I gathered shadows around me, preparing to move – fast.

"What?" Mor cut in, shooting glances first at the door, then at me, comprehension dawning on her face.

A new sensation was sent my way. A soothing caress, and then – nothing. I threw my mind against hers, but only felt that wall of adamant that she so expertly controlled.

Frustration hit me like a physical blow. There was nothing I could do. No way of knowing what had happened, what happened right this moment.

"Feyre, she… I don't know what's going on." I removed the spilled wine with a wave of my hand.

"Is she okay, Rhys?" Mor clipped at me, struggling with her own power, still not sure whether she would need it to help her high Lady, I realised.

"Yes, I think so. I felt panic. Pure panic, but then a wave of calm and now… Nothing. She has shut me out."

"But she is okay?" Mor's eyes pierced me,

"She is not hurt, I know that at least." The steadiness of my voice seemed to convince her that there was no immediate threat and her power dwindled away.

I poured myself a new glass of wine, and took a seat, forcing myself to be calm.

"You _did_ see her?" Mor poured herself a class of wine and slumped into a comfy chair, looking intently at me. "Yes, and she is well." I could still feel her fingers trailing my skin, her breath on my neck, her tongue in my mouth. Those long, perfectly shaped legs, wrapped around me, as she demanded more…

"Rhys, focus!" Mor snapped, her voice strained. I pushed thoughts of our night together away, alongside my worry for her.

The beat of mighty wings caught my ear and a moment later, Azriel stalked into the room, his face stone hard, shadows visibly clinging to his skin. He gave us a nod as a way of greeting, before leaning against the wall, obviously determined to brood, as he had done since returning from Hybern. Not that I blamed him.

Not surprisingly, Amren strolled in, her silver eyes unfeeling as she took a seat next to Mor "What did Feyre say?"

I did not insult either Azriel or Amren by asking how they knew I had been with her. They had their ways.

So I told my remaining court everything that Feyre had shared regarding her role at the spring court, which was not much. I realised how little we had talked, compared to the time we spent together. A part of me scolded myself for not using our time right, while another purred with satisfaction because we had obviously spent our time just right.

Mor downed the wine, trailing the edge of the glass with her finger. "So the king has not made his move yet. That is a blessing I guess." She stared pointedly at me "you two could have used your time better, planning our next step," she rose to pour herself another glass, "but then again, we need our high lord _and_ lady at full strength, physically and mentally, so maybe a night between the sheets did you both some good." I growled half-heartedly, noting how forced her teasing sounded.

Amren cut in, "We need to start planning our next move. Retaliation does not happen overnight."

I rose and looked at my broken court "And so we will. Now that we can communicate more directly with Feyre, it will be easier to coordinate." My voice was surprisingly steady, compared to the emotions running wild inside me. "Even with our considerable strength and abilities," I pointed to my court, "it will not be enough to stand against the king. We need allies." They all nodded. "And…" my voice trailed off as I considered this for the hundredth time, "and we need Nesta and Elain as well."

Amren snorted, "Feyre will not like that."

"She will understand that her sisters _chose_ to help." I stressed, knowing that she would _not_ understand. Not at first at least.

Amren waved her hand, "Fine, it's your funeral." I couldn't tell if she referred to Feyre's anger or that of her horrible sister. I shrugged – I would pay the price either way.

As I looked at the three of them, I was hit by the absence of the remaining court. Feyre a spy and Cassian… I needed Cassian's easy nature, his free spirit. I cut a glance towards Azriel who was very obviously _not_ looking at Mor. I needed him there too, to navigate between my cousin and the shadowsinger. I shook myself, embracing my role as High Lord once again.

"Az, I need you to feel out the other courts, see if there are any chances of finding allies." He stiffened, his tormented eyes clear as steel as he focused on me instead of feigning not to keep an eye on Mor. I mentally rolled my eyes. They should just get do it already.

"What about summer and spring?" his dark voice was flat, devoid of feeling. "Do your best, but _do not_ get caught." His eyes flashed for a second at the obvious insult. Good, I needed to know that he was still in there. That this was just him trying to cope with the weakness he believed he had shown at Hybern.

"As you wish." He stole a swift glance at Mor, before walking to the balcony and shooting towards the dawn. Mor looked gloriously indifferent, but I knew my cousin.

"Amren, I need you to stay in Velaris for now. Keep working on the Book of Breathings. We might still use it – somehow." She nodded, and started to leave as a wicked smile curled on her lips, "I might check in on Varian, see what he is up to." I almost felt sorry for Varian as her ever changing, silver eyes turned ravenous. I merely nodded. An update on the summer court would help, whether it came from my spymaster or my second.

Mor shifted in her seat as I turned my attention to her. "I need you in the Hewn City…" she made an effort not to flinch, and almost succeeded "and of course, I need your help at the cabin." We both winced at the thought of Nesta. Even Mor had troubles staying positive around that much hatred. And then there was Cassian. My brother. His situation pained me beyond imagination. An Illyrian without his wings was like a cat with no claws, a useless weapon. They would be saved. They had to or… I didn't let myself finish the thought as I looked at Mor. "We should go" she nodded swiftly and I carried her into the sky, before winnowing to the cabin

A string of curses was the first thing that met us as we emerged from shadow and darkness.

"Stay away from her you fae bastard. Go lick your wounds somewhere else. We do not need your help!" Nesta's words were sharp, edged with malice and fire. I sighed at the scene unfolding before us. Cassian, finally able to walk about without grunting in pain, stood outside the cabin, hands in the air as Nesta hauled Elain to her feet and shielded her with her own body.

"Trying to wake the mountains, are we?" I drawled, hands securely placed in my pockets to hide how they had curled into fists. _Insufferable female_.

Cassian turned to face me, his cheeks slightly pink. He sighed, as he pointed towards Elain. "I tried to help her," his voice was hollow, and tired, so unlike the boldness and arrogance he usually exuded, "but then _she_ " he threw his head towards Nesta, "started screaming at me, like a wraith from the underworld."

Nesta fumed, her cold eyes filled with rage, _"_ I have told you _not_ to touch us. I don't want any other fae males near my sister. You and your stupid bonds and possessiveness."

"I was only trying to help her! She fell d…" Cassian stared at Nesta, eyes intense, almost angry. _Interesting_ , I mused as I watched some of the old Cassian emerging.

"I don't care." Nesta snapped. "Stay. Away." Nesta's attention slid to me, as if only now registering, who had interrupted them. Her back straightened, that rage flaring even brighter. "Why are _you_ here?" Her voice was so filled with disgust that it took everything I had not to laugh out loud, because in this moment, with her gold-brown hair flowing in the wind and her eyes brimming with hatred, not fear, she reminded me so much of my mate in those early days of our relationship. Feyre had never showed fear either.

Mor cut in, "We wanted to see how you were doing." Her voice chirpy, yet laced with steel. "Let's go inside," she continued, "it's too cold to be out here and I am starving. "

Inside… My mind reeled at the thought. Memories of the last time I had been in the cabin flashed through my mind; paint splashed on wings, Feyre sprawled naked on the table, her lazy smile as she licked my entire body. Focus – I had to focus. Feyre was fine. We were fine. _For now,_ my treacherous mind whispered in answer. I grazed her mind with my own, sensing a small trickle of love shooting my way, before that adamant wall went up again, reinforced.

Nesta merely turned on her heels and marched inside, Elain followed her, shooting an apologetic look towards Cassian. He just shrugged and trudged after them, Mor right on his heels, frowning at his torn wings.

"Sit" Nesta commanded, as food started appearing on the table, thanks to the magic of the house.

We ate in silence for a while and I let my gaze wander between the strange gathering of people that sat here, surrounded by Feyre's paintings.

Cassian dug into his food, without comment. Mor observed him, a slight frown on her brow. He lifted his gaze at her and held it until she yielded.

Nesta was obviously doing well, but Elain… her transition had not been as smooth as Nesta's. Even now, she struggled slightly with her elegant, elongated fingers, as she grasped for her cup.

"Stop staring at her!" Nesta's voice lashed out. I hadn't realised that she had been watching, but of course she had. I looked at her, ice coating my eyes. Had she been anyone but the sister of my mate…

I ignored Nesta for the time being, turning my attention to Cassian. "Any news?" I asked, hoping to haul him out of the self-pity he was so obviously wallowing in. Not that I didn't understand him. If it had been me… I shuddered at the thought. But I needed him to be the general of my armies. He needed it too, I knew. Mor shot me a warning glance, but I ignored her.

He looked up, his face a cool mask. "No, nothing new." He shot a glance at Nesta and Elain before he continued, carefully phrasing his words, "The armies are ready, should you give the command." A nod, then I held his gaze more firmly "and you?" His eyes darkened slightly, a shadow of doubt haunting them, "I will be ready too." A commander, speaking to his High Lord. I nodded, silently begging to whatever gods were listening, to speed up the healing.

Elain coughed slightly, and said "What about Feyre?" My brows shot up in surprise. Elain had not spoken to me, to anyone but her sister, since they were turned. "When are we rescuing Feyre?" she said, slightly louder. I schooled my features, hiding my surprise, but it was Mor who answered.

"As I already told you, Feyre chose to go to the spring court. She is not being held against her will:"

"How can you be sure? She sacrificed herself for us. _Again._ We should get her back." Elain pushed on, as tears started rolling down her cheeks "she needs to know that we want her back."

I was utterly surprised by Elain's quiet outburst. Nesta, it seemed, was too since she had not interrupted. Mor put a gentle hand on Elain's arm "She knows…" Mor began before she was brutally interrupted by Nesta,

"Feyre will be fine. She always is." Cool calculation shone in her eyes and I wanted to roar at her. Her sister was a spy in an enemy court and she didn't even pretend care, Darkness rippled inside, shadows crowded the cabin.

"Oh, stop it Nesta! We failed her more than once. I _cannot_ allow myself to do that again." The shadows disappeared as quickly as they had come and I just stared at Elain, not caring that shock was painted all over my face.

For once, Nesta did not know what to say. She merely raised an eyebrow at Elain, the only surprise she let show.

Cassian stared from Elain to Nesta, surprise lingering on his face as well. There was something else. The way his eyes traced Nesta's face, reading her expression. His mouth twitched an inch, which no one noticed but me, his brother and High Lord. _Interesting_.

Elain looked into my eyes and held them. "We want to help, any way we can." I started to speak, but was interrupted by Nesta. "Elain, enough." Nesta turned to me. "Let's get one thing clear. We are not helping _you_." She let her gaze sweep over Mor, Cassian and me. "We are helping our people, our father. And you are _not_ risking Elain's life. Keep her out of this." Elain started to protest, but Nesta raised her hand. "Are we clear?" she hissed.

I had to admit, her icy calm was impressive, and I gave her a velvet smile, "We may need Elain, but I promise that we will protect her."

"I know what your _protection_ looks like." She spat at me, her gaze drifting to Cassian " _someone_ promised to protect us before, yet here we are." Cassian's face was like stone, but I knew her words hit their mark. She knew it too. I snarled at her, at her cruelty. "You are as much to blame for this as we are. You had a choice, remember. If you had buried your prejudice and stubbornness that day and gone to Velaris, none of this would have happened." I hadn't lost it like this in a while. I took a deep breath, letting the darkness soothe my flaring temper.

Nesta merely snorted at me, but surprisingly she backed down. "Tell us your plans, and we shall see." I gave her a feral smile, and started talking.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

 **Feyre**

As Tamlin slid under my covers, my body tensed. It was an involuntary movement that I instantly buried deep within myself as I relaxed my muscles.

We had not been intimate since my return to the spring court and apart from small gestures like stroking my arms with his callused fingers or brushing his mouth against my cheek he had made no physical advances. There had been hints though, in his tone of voice, in his smouldering, green eyes.

Talking had never been our primary means of communication. No, we had used our bodies, and skin to skin, we had found each other. It had only been a matter of time before Tamlin would try to re-establish that bond between us.

 _Breath_. I had to think clearly, to deflect his advances without raising his suspicions. I checked my mental shields, making sure that my mate would _not_ suddenly receive images of Tamlin in my bed. I did not need Rhys' poorly concealed anger to mix with my own disgust.

Tamlin's warmth hit me as he put his back against the headboard, so close that my shoulders grazed his sides, stone-hard and muscled beneath his green tunic. I forced myself to relax against him. _Traitor, murderer, liar_ my mind droned on as I gave him a broad smile.

"Feyre, we need to talk." He repeated, his eyes hard at the edges, but lined with so much softness that I flinched. I merely looked at him, expectantly, waiting for him to continue.

"I know…" he coughed to strengthen his voice "I know that you need time to heal, to understand that you are home, safe. I know that you need peace and quiet, but…" I wanted to laugh out loud. I did not want peace and quiet, I wanted to be useful.

I put a tentative hand on his arm. "I've told you that I want to help. I want to do anything I can to make them pay. To help my sisters." My voice was strong – he needed to see some of my strength. See that I would not break, if he included me in his plans.

He sighed. "Yes. That. It's… difficult Feyre. I just got you back. This was supposed to be the happiest time in your life. We were supposed to be happy. We deserve it, after Under the Mountain." I winced at that and he stroked my hair in comfort. I wanted to slap his hand away. I couldn't bear his tenderness. Not after he had sold out everything. His life, my life, the life of every being in Prythian and the mortal lands. I made my mind blank, and forced my body to lean slightly into his touch.

"I know. And we will have that, Tamlin. But not before we have dealt with the threats to our court." The words grated against me. _Our court._ I glanced at my glamoured right hand. _For my court._

Tamlin took a deep breath beside me and said, "It's about Ianthe." My head whipped around to look at him, my eyes blazing with anger. "What about her?" I said tightly.

"I know that what she did was horrible." An understatement, but I managed to give him a curt nod. "I've spoken to her and she _is_ sorry Feyre."

"Sorry?" my eyes were calm, too calm. "Yes. It's not enough but she explained her reasons to me. She made a mistake Feyre. A terrible mistake." I could feel the roar of power that rose in time with my temper.

"A mistake, you say? She sold information to the King of Hybern, to ensure her own power and my sisters paid _her_ price." My voice sounded different, strong and unrelenting. I had to be careful, and keep balancing between strength and obedience.. Calming waves met the fire in my veins, dulling it to a faint burning of embers. I let my voice break as I whispered. "My sisters are fae, because of her betrayal, and I can't…" My voice trailed off and Tamlin's eyes filled with pain and anger. "I know," he said, tucking my hair behind my ear, running his thumb down my cheek. Bile rose in me at the intimacy of his touch and I had to turn away, pretending to wipe a tear from my eye.

"She knows. I made sure of that." A predatory gleam was visible in his eyes and for once, I wanted to smile in honest. His tone suggested that he _had_ made her pay. "But Feyre, she didn't know what the King planned. She never imagined that this would happen. She wanted to get you away from them. To break the bond _he_ forced on you. She believed the king would use your sisters as a way of reaching you and then return them to us." I merely stared at him, listening to that incredibly stupid explanation. Ianthe was obviously playing her own, dangerous games.

Tamlin droned on, "She did it for you, Feyre. For us." I half-growled at that, but kept quiet, not trusting myself to keep up my pretence. Not right now.

"She tried to do what was right. When they took you away, she was angry too. She became a huge support for me." His eyes flickered and I whispered, "Did she now?" A faint smudge of pink appeared on his cheeks, but were gone almost instantly. _Interesting._

He shifted awkwardly in the bed, carefully monitoring my face before continuing. "She is a powerful ally. She will help us in the battles to come. Her ties to the King might be useful too." Fool. He was a damned fool if he thought that Ianthe had any pull with the king. Tamlin's own betrayal hit me again. He too had bargained with the king. Sold me out _,_ like I was a piece of property. No! I had to stay focused on Ianthe, everything else would be too distracting.

"She cannot expect me to just forgive and forget." I squared my shoulders. "My sisters are _gone_ because of her!". Yes. This was the right amount of rage. A rage that Tamlin could understand, because he had seen my temper as a human. Knew that a fire burned beneath my skin. And he understood how important my family was to me.

Tamlin looked at me, his eyes serious. "She does not expect you to forgive, neither do I, but she wants to help us get them back. She wants to repent. And Feyre. We need her." The last words he spoke sounded more like a command than a plea. I bristled at that. He dared order me around, after everything that happened. His hands caressed my face as he leaned in. "Feyre." He breathed sternly, ordering me to stand down.

I had to get away from him, from his closeness. From the kiss that he would undoubtedly soon place on my lips. The intimacy of the bed and my thin nightgown did not help one bit and I could sense his desire rolling off him. I weighed my options: Could I fake another black out? No that would be too obvious. Which meant I either had to endure the kiss and what else might follow it, or throw a tantrum like some spoiled child, which would only prove to him that I was not well enough to help.

Kiss or tantrum. _Kiss or tantrum_. Tantrums had almost always resulted in clothes being torn apart as our bodies did the talking. I gritted my teeth. Kiss it was then. _But nothing more_ my mind screamed.

The smell of cedar and lilac hit me, fragrant but wrong. This was not my high lord. His face was close now. So close that our breaths mingled and a dull scream started to build in my body, trying to burst through my throat as his lips crushed mine, greedy, possessive.

My mind went blank. I had to endure this kiss. Just a kiss. No more. My arms felt heavy as I moved them to his shoulders, imitating a loving embrace. He groaned at my lips, and just as I made to pull away, give him a warm smile and then get the hell off this bed, he pulled me down so that his body was on top of mine, pinning me to the spot. His hands began roaming over my body, strong and possessive. _Mine_ they seemed to say.

Instead of panicking, my mind saw everything with frightening clarity. I had been a fool to believe I could avoid this. Tamlin was a high lord - A fae male with strong instincts that told him that I wanted him because the last time he had seen me, I _had_ wanted him. Even if that had changed, he only allowed himself to remember me as I was. I had to move, to act, to protect myself.

I slid a tendril of darkness towards his inner shields, feeling them out. They were strong, unbearably strong. He had no doubt used centuries to ward his mind against attacks. Against Rhys. I had to break through, to stop this. I started weaving myself into that wall of cedar and claws. It was difficult – so difficult. Even though I had that spark of his power and used that as a guide, a soothing touch to brush against the vastness of that wall, there was something else that opposed me. It roared at me, denying me access. I kept stroking the wall with the drop of Tamlin's power. _I am you_ , I whispered at it.

It was taking too long. Tamlin's body felt like a prison and I fought against the part of me that wanted to crumble at that feeling. The brightness of the morning dimmed, as the shadows started to gather in the corners of my room. A high lady's power, ready to strike.

Tamlin braced one hand at my said, twisting his body sideways. He studied me underneath him, a feral gleam in his eyes. He traced my body with a finger, ending at my face and his smile faltered a fracture. I tried to hide the panic, the disgust. To smile at him, not snarl, but he must have seen something in my face. I needed more time… I needed…

Two short raps at my door had Tamlin stiffening, then snarling "What?"

Red gleamed in the morning sun as Lucien popped his head in. "You are needed." He merely said, eyes blank, before he left, not bothering to close the door. Tamlin cursed, looking at the spot where Lucien had just been and removed himself from me. It took all I had not to heave a sigh of relief. Of all the people here, _Lucien_ had saved me.

"I'm sorry Feyre." He looked down at me as he stood, "apparently, not even the bedroom is sacred anymore. I will return shortly and then we can continue our… talk." His lips curled in a small smile and I knew what kind of talk he was referring to. I smiled back at him "Go be the high lord." My words sounded more strained than I had intended, but he merely said. "We will finish our discussion, Feyre " and left. A promise, a command, an order. I lay still in my bed for a second, then stood and called for my servants. There was no chance that I would be caught in my nightgown, in bed when Tamlin returned from whatever issue he had to deal with.

After getting dressed, I ate a quick breakfast, before walking to the enormous study, which I knew would be deserted at this hour. I picked up a book, randomly flipping through the pages. I had to think.

Ianthe was obviously still weaving her web of lies to gain influence, and Tamlin was too stupid to see it. Or he didn't want to. It didn't matter. He wanted to use her, but I had no doubt that she was in fact using him.

 _Ianthe_ – my blood boiled at that name. Cunning, scheming witch. She knew exactly what she had done, and even though she might not have known about the cauldron and its powers, her actions were still a betrayal. I seethed at the thought of pretending to tolerate her.

A burnt smell woke me from my inner struggles and I found the book beginning to catch fire. I let out a startled huff and quickly quieted the fire in my blood. Careful. I had to be so careful.

I plumped into a chair near the window that overlooked the stunningly beautiful rose garden and found myself yearning for the clear night sky of Velaris instead. I recalled Tamlin's hands and mouth on me and wanted to vomit. The cauldron knew how I was going to keep him at bay. And Lucien… Maybe I was a reckless fool for staying. For believing that I could keep up this façade and actually help my court.

My chest tightened and I suddenly wanted to cry. I was homesick, I realised. The feeling was so unusual that it stopped my mind from spinning out of control. I had never experienced it before, not like this.

When I had been at the spring court as a human I had wanted to go home, not because I missed it, but because of the promise I had made to my mother that I would keep my sisters safe. I hadn't longed for _home_ as I did now. I finally had a home, worth missing and worth fighting for. _Rhys_ my mind whispered. He was a living thing inside me. Always there and with him, were the memories of my court, my family.

I opened my mental shields, and grazed the bond hidden within. I could have sworn that a purr echoed in my mind. I smiled softly as I began skimming the book in my hand.

A small clink to the right startled me, but as I looked at the small table, a piece of paper and a familiar pen lay there, perched at its edge. My smile broadened as I saw Rhys's perfect handwriting

 _How is my favourite high lady?_

 _Tired_. Someone _made sure that I didn't sleep last night._ I wrote back and the paper vanished, only to appear again moments later.

 _A bit out of shape, are we?_

I clicked my tongue and merely wrote _Arrogant fae bastard_

 _I miss that delightful mouth of yours_

I let out a low, breathless laugh _And what would you like said mouth to do, my lord?_

A wave of desire flushed down the bond and his reply was almost instant _You wicked, cruel creature. Now I have to take a cool bath before meeting with Azriel._

I could almost hear his voice, sliding down my spine, into my bones. My mate.

 _Poor, Illyrian baby._ I wrote, almost purring at the paper before it vanished again. It was so easy to talk to Rhys and so calming. He made me feel confident. Strong. Like I could conquer the world. He believed in me. Trusted me. Let me do this, even if every fibre of his being screamed at him to protect me. To get me home. The paper appeared again,

 _How was your morning? Hopefully, better than mine, since I had to endure your sister and her constant scrutiny. Although I do enjoy watching her and Cassian battle it out._

I did not miss the hidden question in his note. He had definitely felt my panic when Lucien walked in and I could only imagine his reaction to me shutting him out. I was grateful, however, that he did not push me on it. That he understood that I had handled it and continued to handle it.

I frowned slightly at the mention of my sister, but also felt amused. She could push Cassian's buttons like no other.

 _My morning was fine. I had a small encounter with Lucien, but nothing major. I'll tell you about it when we see each other again. I've seen Tamlin too, and he wants me to work with Ianthe again. We were interrupted before we spoke of much else, so I don't have any details yet._ I left out the part where Tamlin had kissed me. There was no need to stir his anger any further, especially since the mention of Ianthe would probably make the mountains quake from Rhys' wrath.

Indeed, I felt burning anger searing through the bond as the paper appeared again.

 _Ianthe might be a problem._ To ease his worry, if only a fraction, I answered _I know. I will be careful, I promise._

 _I know, Feyre Darling._

The door to the study slammed open and the paper vanished without a trace. I slumped deep into my chair, flipping the book to a random page and started reading. Tamlin soon hovered above me and I looked up, a smile plastered on my face, which faltered when I saw the anger and gauntness of his forest-green eyes. "He is here." He said through tight lips, his entire body tense,


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

 **Feyre**

I stiffened in my chair. Why would Rhys come for me? Something awful must have happened if he had decided to get me out before I had learned anything of use to us. I let my subconscious search the house and then the grounds, for his familiar darkness, but nothing. Why couldn't I sense him?

I sent a trickle of worry down the bond. An answering caress glided along the bond, calm, but quizzical, as if asking me why I suddenly worried for him. I took in Tamlin again, his rigid body, that familiar restrained anger, but also a glimmer of guilt and resignation.

Not Rhys, I realised. Had it been my mate, Tamlin would have been furious. He would have fought, tooth and nail. But who… my mind blanked. _The king_. The king was here, or would be soon. I gulped down air, scrambling to gather myself. Tamlin stretched his hand towards me, and heaved me from the chair.

"The king" I whispered, not able to hide the tang of true fear that ran through me. Tamlin nodded, and before I could react, he grabbed a hold of my chin and placed a light kiss on my lips. "I will protect you." He murmured as he pulled away and looked at me. I had to restrain myself as the need to slap him hit me. He was the one who had gotten us into this mess. He was a damned fool if he believed he could do anything to protect me from the king. Silently, Tamlin led me to my rooms and once he had closed the door behind us, I looked at him, expectantly.

"Feyre, we need to talk before he arrives and we only have a few minutes." He took my hand, stroking it with his callused thumb. "I love you so much." His voice became thick with emotion "and I would do… have done everything to get you back – to save you from Rhysand and his cronies. I had no choice; you have to know that, Feyre. The letter he made you write convinced me that you were completely under his control and I couldn't get you out."  
I almost let out a hiss at his words. The disgust that coated his words when talking about Rhysand and the sheer arrogance of him not considering my feelings at all was enough to ignite my temper.  
He continued, "I made a choice, to aid the king. I promised him access to my lands, to use them as a base." I nodded slowly, the king had said as much at Hybern. Tamlin's eyes filled with pain and regret "and I promised him your services, Feyre." I stiffened, giving him an incredulous look, and he hurried on, "he is intrigued by your powers and wants your help to convince the remaining high lords to support him in tearing down the wall. I know it's not… Its's not what you want. What _we_ want, but…" I stared at him, trying to understand his reasoning, but failed miserably. He had _sold_ me to the king. And in doing so, had also agreed to help in removing the wall. Bastard! The power within me surged, ready to strike and I had to tuck hard to reign it in.

"There is… more." His eyes flickered from my face to the room we stood in, my room, "but that will have to wait. He is almost here. Please, just let me handle it and don't speak to him, unless he speaks to you." An order. I was to play the docile female, still broken from her trials this past year. I nearly bared my teeth at him – at the world, but didn't. I had a role to play, I reminded myself. I was in love with him, and grateful for being freed from the night court, from Rhys. But I had also lost my sisters because of the king and _him._ I grasped his cheek in a steely grip, and forced myself to stroke a finger down his hard jawline. "We will get through this. And we will talk. Later." If I were to meet the king, my façade had to be perfect. He had to believe that I was truly freed from Rhys and that I posed no direct threat to his plans.

He caught my hand and kissed the palm. "Feyre." He murmured his voice husky. I ground my teeth at his obvious desire and flashbacks from this morning threatened to drown me. I would deal with _that_ later too. I gave him a small smile, before taking a step away from him, towards my dressing room. "I need to freshen up. Two minutes." I said, retreating into the cool silence of the adjoining room

I pressed my back to the wall. The king was coming here. Now. And I was to meet him as Tamlin's pet. I could feel my power both roaring and purring at me, ready to be wielded. My lips curled in a brutal smile. If I freed it… I stopped myself before my thoughts got any further. _Pick your battles_ I whispered. I was already fighting Tamlin, Lucien and the spring court. I could not be at an outright war with one of the most powerful beings in the entire world, not alone. His time would come.

I straightened my gown, wishing that Alis had been here, with her soothing presence and nimble fingers. I quickly brushed my hair, preparing myself both outwards and inwards. I checked my mental shields and made sure they were in place. If the King knew, where my true allegiances lay or the extent of the powers that surged beneath my skin, coated my veins, my bones… I shuddered. _No._ I was the returned bride, broken but healing, home at last. I let that feeling wash over me, let that personality settle within me, until I nearly suffocated. Two small raps sounded at the door and Tamlin's deep voice said "It's time."

He looked me over as I stepped out and gave me an appreciative nod. Even though I had not changed clothes, my golden brown hair was now pulled back from my face with two silver combs speckled with emeralds, fashioned to look like roses in full bloom and my delicately pointed ears were in full view. My lilac, gossamer gown flowed around me in the slight spring breeze coming from the open window and I knew that I looked the part. The consort of a High Lord of Prythian.

I rested my hand on his arm "Let's go." My voice was steady and determined. I had no room for doubts now. "Feyre…" Tamlin hesitated as we went out the doors and turned to walk down the stairs to the receiving room. "Ianthe is here. She just arrived. She will greet the king with us"  
I whirled to face him, but he kept a tight grip on my arm, forcing me to keep moving. "What?" I said through clenched teeth. "Why didn't you tell me?" But I knew the answer. Had he told me earlier, it would have led to a lot of questioning. Telling me mere seconds before meeting her would give me enough time to recover, yet not ask any questions. His eyes bore into mine, every bit the high lord.  
"You will not engage her." A command. I held his gaze; letting that burning anger slip a fraction as my eyes pierced his. I nodded. He grazed my cheek with his hand, love and pain swirling in his gaze, as we stepped into the room.

"Feyre" Ianthe purred, greeting me with open arms. "I am so glad to see you." My body went rigid as she placed a cool kiss on my cheek. "Tamlin hasn't allowed me to visit. So protective." She pouted as her eyes traced along Tamlin's body, with a predatory gleam.  
 _Vile, conniving snake_. I didn't really care about her interest in Tamlin. Not personally. But a union between them could turn out to be catastrophic. For me, for my court and for the world. And for her to call herself my friend, yet flirt this openly with Tamlin… My mind suddenly filled with images of her naked body, lounging on Rhys' bed. Her vulpine smile as she had tried to touch herself in front of him. I wanted to claw her eyes out, right here and now. The room imperceptibly cooled as I struggled to control my powers. _Breath, breath, breath_.

She took a step back and looked me over "You look spectacular." She said, while her eyes narrowed slightly at the sight of the silver combs. I remembered that she had once told me silver was not my colour.  
I gave her a feral smile "thank you." My coldness didn't seem to bother her as she turned, walking through the room, "How exciting that the king is here. We are certainly blessed." I looked at her in stunned surprise. Was she serious? She believed a visit from the king was a blessing. I wondered what the king had promised her if she helped him.  
Tamlin gave me a slight nudge, motioning me to follow Ianthe to the two seats placed in the middle of the room. Interesting that Tamlin wanted his position as High lord displayed this openly in front of the king. As if he needed to solidify his power. I catalogued the information in my mind, along with any thoughts of Ianthe and her power hungry actions. Ianthe glided off to stand beside the chair on the left, smirking slightly to Lucien, who was placed next to the chair on the right.

His red hair glimmered in the afternoon sun, streaming from the windows and his eyes, one russet and one metal, followed Ianthe's movements intently. He looked wary as he grimaced at Ianthe. I was surprised by the obvious distaste on his face and as his eyes found mine I could have sworn that a frown tucked at his lips. I remembered that Ianthe had wanted Lucien, before I left, and that Lucien had refused her, time and time again. He must have had his own suspicions about her. Interesting, since Tamlin insisted on calling her his friend. I catalogued that too, as Tamlin and I sat in the beautifully carved, oaken chairs, Tamlin to the left and me to the right.

Tamlin rested his hand on my knee, giving it a small squeeze, meant to steady me. I took in the room, which was cleared of any furniture but the chairs we used. Sentries were stationed along the walls, but none of them carried any weapons, at least not visible ones. Shadows danced in the light of the sun streaming through the windows and a wistful smile tucked at my lips, as I remembered how the shadows used to dance in Velaris. How _I_ had danced with them. A small knot formed in my stomach at the thought of what I had left behind, and what I was fighting for.

Ianthe leaned closer to Tamlin and whispered something in his ear, while her hand rested gently, possessively, on his shoulder. He smiled at her and leaned in closer. She cut a quick glance at me, and I found nothing in her eyes but cunning calculation. _Traitor, murderer, liar_ , my mind snarled. I might not give a damn about Tamlin, but I had no interest in those two teaming up.

Lucien coughed slightly and I turned to him. His eyes shone with disgust as he leaned in and breathed, "Seems like _you've_ been outmatched:"A taunt. He gave me a wicked grin and my anger rose. Ianthe would not win. I could not let this go on – not while I was still playing my part. I could do this. I _had_ to do this. Tamlin was mine, his court was mine.

I squeezed Tamlin's hand, still on my knee and he immediately turned his attention towards me, leaving Ianthe mid-sentence. His green and gold eyes met mine as he raised a brow in question. I leaned in, forcing my hand to stroke his, gently, lovingly. "I love you." _Rhys_ my mind added on its own accord as I whispered the words to Tamlin. Whispered them loud enough to be sure that every person in the room would be able to hear them. "No matter what, I love you." I repeated with agonizing surety, because what I saw in my head was not the golden haired High lord of spring. No, I saw violet eyes flecked with stars, deep blue-black hair that framed a handsome, familiar face and a wickedly delighted grin. Night incarnate. My mate. My heart ached for him, and I let those feelings poor into my eyes as I held Tamlin's gaze.

His brows rose and his mouth twitched up in what would have been a heart-breaking smile to anyone but me. His eyes danced with pure joy and in a short glimpse, I remembered how our time together had been before Under the Mountain. "I love you too, Feyre." He whispered back, leaning in to brush his lips against mine. I smiled at him, feigning the love that shone through my eyes. I was a fox in a chicken's coop and the chickens were falling right into my trap. I dared a glance towards Ianthe, who stared at us, a benevolent smile plastered on her beautiful face. Her eyes sparkled, but I was sure that I saw a brief flash of rage in them. Good. She needed to know that she did _not_ control me or Tamlin.

A stillness settled in the house and I heard the shuffling of several feet, approaching the receiving room. I steeled myself, and moved my attention to the door. Tamlin squeezed my hand and did not let go. A second later, I was glad that he held me in place, because if he had not been there to ground me, I might have flung myself directly at the king, as he strode into the room, flanked by his own guards and Jurian. His black eyes took in the room and a small smile danced on his lips, as if the setting amused him.  
His gaze settled on Tamlin and me, and his smile grew, but it did not reach those depthless black eyes. I felt Lucien stiffen at my side, but dared not turn to look at him. Power rolled off the king in almost visible waves. It was a horrible, dark power that was so different from the darkness that flowed in my own veins. I held his stare, even as his black pits bore into me. I was suddenly afraid that he would see through my disguise. That he could somehow sense the mating bond, stronger and brighter than ever. His gaze let go of mine and drifted to Tamlin who gave my hand a last reassuring caress and rose.

"Welcome to the Spring Court." The strain in Tamlin's voice was nearly inaudible

"Would you look at this. A united spring court. What a happy sight." The king merely said, mockingly. Tamlin stiffened slightly, "To what do we…"

The king held up a hand, interrupting Tamlin and said, "We have matters to discuss, High Lord" he turned his attention to me "and I simply couldn't resist visiting to see how _darling_ Feyre is dealing with her return to your lovely court. She seemed so confused when we last spoke." Those terrible eyes settled on Lucien "and Lucien's mate ripped from him before he had a chance to talk to her." The king flicked his tongue. "Such a shame". I dared a glance at Lucien, who had gone deathly pale, his hands clenched into fists. "Easy" I breathed at him, turning my attention back to the king. His attempt to unnerve us was obviously a part of whatever game he was playing and to uncover it, I had to play along. I rose from my chair and gave the king a venomous smile as I calmly echoed Tamlin's words "Welcome to the Spring Court."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

 **Feyre**

The silence that followed my words was thick, laden with tension. Tamlin had gone still by my side, as if he feared that any movement would trigger the King. Coward.

Finally, the king let out a low, vicious laugh that skittered along my bones like claws on marble. "Ah, Feyre." He said my name like a lover's caress, so at odds with the depthless, unfeeling eyes that beheld me, "you seem to be on the mend. A few days of peace and quiet here in the lovely, eternal spring can heal even the deepest wounds, it seems."

His eyes narrowed slightly, his voice turning hard and cold. Were his words merely a jab to remind me of the pain he had caused when he thought he broke the mating bond between Rhys and me, or could he somehow still sense the bond within me, stronger than ever?. It was an effort not to react, but I kept staring at him, my own fake smile equally cold. After what seemed like an eternity, his eyes finally left mine and turned to Tamlin.

"I hope your emissary" he shot a glance at Lucien "doesn't grieve too much about the loss of his mate." Lucien let out an almost inaudible growl and shifted his stance, sliding into a fighting position. Tamlin quickly spoke, flicking his wrist at Lucien. _Stand down_ , that hand ordered. Lucien did, but not without visible struggle. "We will get her back." Tamlin was speaking as much to Lucien as to the king.

Jurian, standing close behind the king gave a smirk, eyes fixed on Lucien. I could hear his taunting words from the day everything had gone to hell. _Do you know what Illyrian bastards do to pretty females?_ Elain was safer where she was now than she would have been here. Of course, Lucien did not know that, so Jurian's taunts still found their mark. I looked forward to the day where I would wipe that insufferable smile of his face.

The king's eyes narrowed at Tamlin "Maybe. You might have the chance when you go fetch the book that lovely Feyre decided to hide from me." His voice was icy as he shot me a glance. The air in the room had gone cold and the ripple of power radiating from him was truly terrifying. Oh, I had pissed him off by making sure that the book would _not_ end up in his hands. I wanted to grin at him, but kept my face neutral.

Tamlin shot me a quick glance of… relief? Or pride? I couldn't read his expression and it was gone before I could blink. He stared back at the king, unblinking. "I made no promise to get the book for you."

"No you didn't, but I believe it would be in your best interest to oblige me. Since your _lady_ decided to act on her own accord, maybe you should use her to get it back." Tamlin let out a low, vicious growl. "Keep her out of this."

"Oh, I will do no such thing. You promised that she would be at my disposal for some minor tasks." The king flipped his wrist in a casual movement and continued, "And I intend to make full use of that promise. As to the book, I don't really care _how_ you get it back, just do it." His last words were like the crack of a whip, and Tamlin flinched slightly, but gave the king a stiff nod. "And," the king added menacingly, "don't take too long."

The room shifted as the king's power retreated like mist on a cool spring breeze. The king, now smiling again, turned to Ianthe who smiled serenely at him, unfazed by the exchange that had just occurred.

"Priestess. How lovely to see you again" The king inclined his head to her and Ianthe bowed her head low, "Blessings" she merely said as she raised her head. The king looked from Ianthe to Tamlin, an amused, arrogant smile playing on his lips. "How _interesting_ to find you here. Tell me, how did Feyre…"

"Enough" Tamlin barked, and I was surprised at the volume of his voice, the suddenness of his outburst. I raised my brows at him, but he stared at the king, anger, and fear, in his eyes.

The king gave a low chuckle, "Such temper, High Lord. And in front of the ladies of your court… They are exquisite. I am sure that every man here would have done what you did." The king let his eyes trace both our bodies, but the black pits showed no trace of pleasure and a chill went through me. He obviously wanted to provoke Tamlin, hinting at… No I wouldn't think about that now. He would not succeed in dividing us.

The irony of siding with Tamlin didn't escape me and a part of me wanted to turn on both the king and Tamlin; show them what the high lady of the night court was made of. But that would be incredibly stupid. I slid closer to Tamlin, to show unity and strength. If the choice stood between Tamlin and the King, there really was no choice. I might hate Tamlin for what he had done, but I wasn't afraid of him – I was confident that I could take him on. But the king… I could easily be afraid of the king, if I let myself feel.

As if by some silent command, the guards surrounding the king dispersed, some of them lining the walls while others filed out into the hall, to stand guard at the door, no doubt.

"Enough play" the king said flatly, "we need to make arrangements, high lord." Tamlin inclined his head and motioned to the carved, wooden door on the right, which led to his private study. Lucien took a step to follow, but Tamlin held up a hand, "No, stay with Feyre." Lucien gave Tamlin a long stare, but shrugged and stayed. Tamlin turned to me, his smile strained. "I promise to fill you in." his fingers brushed mine, softly "I promise." He repeated. I nodded. What else could I do, surrounded by enemies. Tamlin motioned for the king to follow him and then disappeared into the study. Lucien turned to me, his eyes wary, but at least he wasn't too obvious in his distrust of me.

"So, here we are" a slow voice drawled. _Jurian,_ I ground my teeth as his scent hit me. Old, withered, mouldy and _wrong._ "Stay away, prick." I growled at him, my power stirring in my veins now that the King's commanding presence did not control the room. Jurian snickered. "Come now, we are allies after all." Lucien stiffened at the words and I bared my teeth at him. I saw no point in pretending that I felt anything but disgust. I remembered all too well how he had wanted Rhys dead. Had wanted to know who his friends were, just so that he could kill them too. I wondered if it was Amarantha keeping his soul alive for all those centuries or if it was his rebirth that had made him into the creature that stood before me. Maybe he had always been that way.

"Be a good dog and go guard your master." Lucien snapped, glaring at Jurian. "Now now Lucien, that is no way to treat our _guests_." Ianthe purred as she placed a delicate hand on Lucien's dark purple tunic. My attention snapped to her. _Our guests._ She dared…She was not officially a part of the spring court. High priestesses belonged to no court. My eyes lined with fire and for a moment, I saw red. _Another power struggle_ I whispered inwardly. _Just another power struggle._ I glanced at Lucien and saw undiluted, white-hot rage on his face. He shrugged off Ianthe's hand and opened his mouth, but I cut him off. "As fun as it is standing here, I think we should make it a bit more comfortable. The cauldron knows how long we have to stay here." I sent a silent thank you to Mor, who had taught me that food and comfort almost always eased tensions. I snapped my fingers, and the bare receiving room was suddenly filled with small seating areas, and tables with food. Ianthe shot me a surprised glance and I grinned smugly at her. I knew it might be foolish of me to show them some of my power, even if it was something as innocent as this, but I needed to establish that _I_ was the lady of the spring court. Not Ianthe.

Jurian merely huffed, not moving an inch. I rolled my eyes, and casually strolled to an arrangement of chairs and a low table. I sat down, letting my gown fold gently around me in a cascade of lilac bloom, well aware that the soldiers were staring. Lucien plopped down in a chair beside me, a glass of wine in his hands, obviously realising that waiting on his feet would be tiresome. He emptied it in one go and poured himself another from the bottle that he had brought to the small table in front of us, He inclined his head at me in question and I nodded. Wine might take the edge off the building tension in my body.

"I know…" I began, but stopped dead, as long claws raked across my mental shields, trying to get a foothold. The sensation disappeared in an instant, but was followed by a curious sense of otherness… Of _someone_ sniffing, searching for a crack in my defences. The touch was a far cry from those gentle, loving talons of darkness that I had become so accustomed to. This was definitely not Rhys. No… Someone was trying to get a read on me, to gain access to my mind. And that someone was good. I knew that only skilled faeries with similar gifts would detect the presence, since they were not trying to violate my mind, merely peek inside. I ran a tendril of thought along the strong, adamant wall in my mind, making sure that not even a glimmer of thought shined through. Who was doing this?

"What? Feyre… What?" Lucien said, his voice alert, but so low that it was barely audible. The presence still floated on the outskirts of my mind, but had retracted the claws.

I made myself look at Lucien, to react as a normal person would. "Sorry, I got distracted." I flicked my head toward Ianthe, who had cleverly chosen _not_ to join us, but instead talked with come of Tamlin's sentries, laughing and flirting. Lucien stared flatly at me and shook his head, obviously not believing me.

A sharp lash of pain speared through me, as whoever roamed in my head tried to cut the wall in my mind with a sharp claw. My eyes widened and I could barely conceal a gasp, as I lifted a hand to my right temple. Such power. Lucien stiffened and I whispered. "Just a headache." His eyes told me enough and I really couldn't blame him for not believing my weak lie. I scanned the room for any indication of who the attacker was, but no one looked my way.

"Tell me what to do." he breathed. Was that concern in his voice? I looked into his eyes and saw nothing but determination. I guess the king truly had forced us to be allies, at least for now. I kept my smile in place, and breathed "not here." He nodded slowly, and I continued, "Just… talk about something." His eyes flashed for a second, but then he started talking.

I listened with half of my mind; the other half focused on the ever-lingering presence in my mind. Rhys' words from so long ago drifted in my mind. _We're called daemati – those of us who can walk into another person's mind as if we were going from one room to another._

There was a daemati here, and a strong one, if he could inflict pain like what I had felt. I made sure that I smiled and nodded at Lucien's words, sometimes even answering him in simple sentences. He babbled about the weather, the coming celebration of whatever holiday that was up next – I couldn't remember. His eyes shifted between quick glances at the room and my face, searching for whatever threat was near.

When I felt the claws retracting, I held my breath for another attack, but nothing. I heaved a small sigh of relief. Lucien stopped babbling and looked me over. I gave him a small smile and nodded ever so slightly. His answering smile was tentative and not exactly warm, but I didn't care. He had actually helped me, which was a great deal better than blaming me for every bad thing that had happened.

Luckily, both Jurian and Ianthe kept well away, leaving Lucien and I to each other. I caught myself wishing that Lucien was _not_ Tamlin's subject. Despite his obnoxious, arrogant exterior, he had good qualities. And he was Elain's mate. Sweet, gentle Elain, who seemed so fragile, but who I knew possessed a quiet strength. Mates were equals, which meant that Lucien had to possess some of those qualities as well.

I took a sip of my wine, listening to Lucien talking about the new horses he trained, when pain shot through my body, numbing me. My back arched slightly and I stood in a smooth motion, quickly hiding my feelings behind a calm mask of slight annoyance. I had to get out, away from prying eyes. Now! I shot Lucien a glance and walked towards the open doors, which would lead me to the hall. Lucien stood, trailing behind me. The guards gave me a long look, but Lucien merely smiled. "All that wine has to go somewhere right?" The guards smirked, nodding. I could have hugged Lucien for his quick reaction, if I had not been struggling so hard to keep it together. Keep my mind from splintering. The claws were not merely probing. No, they were slashing, cleaving, _tearing_ at my shield with relentless strikes, already creating small holes in my outer shield. One step, two steps. The stairs seemed endless as the claws mercilessly battered on.

I made it as far as the upstairs hallway, before my knees buckled and I let out a small groan of pain. I felt arms circling my knees and my shoulders as Lucien hoisted me into his arms and carried me to my rooms. His russet eye was slightly widened and the metal one whirred, as if sensing the struggle in my mind. I cringed as I threw myself inwards, into the shield, willing it to stay up. I had to trust Lucien – for now.

I felt my consciousness slipping away under the sharp claws, so strong that my mind reeled, my thoughts emptied and I scrambled to patch the holes in my shields. _Rhys_ my mind screamed, reaching deep within for the bond, but it cost me. A small crack sounded in my mind, and my shield opened a fraction of an inch. I flung the essence of _me_ into the crack, patching it, but I knew that whoever, _whatever,_ attacked me had gotten a glimpse of me. I just hoped that it wasn't enough to matter.

"What should I do." Lucien's voice sounded muffled, far off, as if he stood at the mouth of a long tunnel and I was stuck at the other end. I struggled to answer him. "Wait." I breathed. I had to get a grip. I could do it. The attack continued, small cracks running along the glinting adamant wall. It hurt like hell and memories of Amarantha, shattering me completely filled my mind. No! _No, no. no._ I frantically stretched my mind, encompassing the barrier, trying to protect myself. I wasn't strong enough. Whatever power Rhys had given me was not enough for this. I yielded to the blackness, my defences slackening. _Rhys_ my mind sobbed, as the claws readied themselves for the last assault.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

 **Feyre**

The claws had slashed through the outer barriers of my mind. Only one wall was left – the last defence of my most inner thoughts. What the attacker had glimpsed so far were memories primarily from my mortal life; my father in his study, my mother going to yet another party, the joy I felt when I painted and the ingrained fear as I stalked through the snow-covered woods near our old cottage. But the real secrets, about the court of dreams, my mating bond and the glamour on the tattoo that made me High Lady, remained mine, as long as I could keep my adamant wall in place. My mind convulsed at the thought of that wall crumbling. _Everything_ would be laid bare and my life, along with the lives of my loved ones, would be in extreme danger.

The walls of my mind seemed to close in on me and I scrambled through every bit of training I had had, but nothing had prepared me for this. _Think, THINK._

My attacker had clawed his way through the barriers without pause, as if he knew that whatever bits and pieces he saw and felt in my mind were not the essential ones. Yet now he halted. He was playing with me, I realised. He knew he had me cornered and took his time scoping out the ever-weakening shield. _No. No, no, no, no._  
 _Feyre_ a distant whisper of a roar sounded in the darkness of my mind, I felt immense power surging from the bond and suddenly, I wasn't alone anymore.

I was surrounded by darkness. Soothing, brilliant darkness that caressed my mind, filled it and closed the holes in my shield. I let myself drown in the star-flecked night and I could feel him. My mate. He filled my mind, lending me his strength.

 _Feyre. Fight it. Push back._ Rhys' voice sounded in my head, as clear as if he had stood beside me. I whimpered.

 _I can't_.

 _Yes, you can. Use your power._ His voice was steady and confident.

 _I don't have any more to give._ And it was true. I had poured every ounce of strength into the shield and it still hadn't been enough.

 _Yes, you have. You have the power of all the high lords – your power. Not just mine._

I sensed the claws resuming their attack, viciously slicing at the renewed strength of the wall, but with Rhys' strength woven into mine the wall held, stronger than ever.

His words sent a jolt through me – he was right. I had just been wielding night court power against this – not any of the other talents that I carried in my arsenal. But I _could_ use my powers, even in my mind. ALL my powers.

 _Good._ Rhys mumbled as he sensed my resolve and I began gathering my strength. Hoarfrost crackled, woven with the scorching flames of the autumn court. A hard wind embraced the magic, urging it onwards and with a burst of energy I threw the magic out, at once repairing my shields and banishing those relentless claws from my mind. And for a few seconds, I followed that power, spearing into my attacker. The pain and hatred I found there slammed into me with such force that I nearly suffocated, and I only caught a quick flash of gold and teal before I was back in my own mind. A wave of relief gripped me as I realised that my mind was now mine again.

 _My high lady_ Rhys whispered in my mind, lovingly, but somehow strained too.

 _Thank you_ I whispered, wishing with every fibre in my being that I could fall into his arms and never let go.

 _It was all you, Feyre darling._ The sweetness of my name on his lips sent a burst of pure desire through my body and I heard him chuckle, as he sensed the change in my mind.

 _Feyre_ he purred with a grin in his voice, letting his own desire wash over me.

 _Prick_ I retorted, because he knew exactly what he was doing to me – and he enjoyed it.

He laughed softly, but added _We need to talk.  
_ Yes, we did. Because if I had felt his terror through the mating bond as he had done with mine today, knowing that I couldn't go to him… The mere thought angered me to the point of bursting, but I couldn't let it consume me. Not with the king, Jurian and Ianthe downstairs.

I sighed. _I know. Let's meet tonight at midnight._

 _Deal. You may want to try on some of those lacy underthings you like so much._

 _Oh wouldn't you like that?_ I purred back

His answer was near feral _Yes. Yes I would._

I wanted him. Wanted to feel his tongue on my skin, his hands gripping my bare waist and pressing me to him. I mentally shook myself. Ianthe, the king, Tamlin, Lucien. Right. Reality awaited.

 _I need to return now Rhys._  
 _I know_ was all he said but with our minds entangled I could feel the frustration, the worry the rage, that filled him, alongside fierce pride.

 _I love you_ I said and as he reached back across the bridge that connected our minds, back to the night court he simply answered _and I you._

The emptiness in my head hit me like a boulder. Even the bond couldn't satisfy my need for _him._

I opened my eyes and stared into a familiar scarred face – Lucien. The tightness of his body told me that he was on high alert, ready to defend me if need be. Genuine concern shined through his russet eye and I was once again reminded of the friendship that we had built Under the Mountain. As our eyes met, his concern turned into bone-deep weariness and I could feel the conflicting feelings rolling off him.

He pulled away from me, placing himself at the edge of the bed. I scanned the room and noticed that I was deeply entangled in my sheets. I must have tossed around quite a bit. My body stiffened at the thought of those claws and Lucien was instantly alert. I made to lift my hand, to calm him, but glimpsed swirling black patterns, stark against my white skin. _Shit. Shit shit shit shit._ My glamour must have disappeared when I focused my entire power on my shields. I forced it back into place and threw a quick glance at Lucien. How much had he seen? My arm had been covered by the sheets when I came to, but had my glamour failed before it was buried in them?

"What happened?" Lucien demanded, his voice tense.

Truth – I would give him the truth; or at least most of it. I needed an ally and the worry that I had seen in his eyes _had_ been real, despite his mistrust of me. "There's..." I coughed to clear my throat and tried again "There's a daemati here and he tried to gain access to my mind. "Lucien stared at me, disbelief and anger darkening his russet eye, while his golden one whirred, as if trying to _sense_ the daemati.

"A… a daemati… Here?" His voice was clouded and uncertain. Was it fear?

"Yes and an incredibly strong one." I scooted off the bed and went to the mirror across the room, frowning at the state of my dress and hair. If I went down like this, the guards would think that Lucien and I had snuck up here for another purpose entirely.

"It makes sense, I guess. The king always liked surrounding himself with powerful subjects to control." There was enough of a snap in his voice that I turned to him, hissing. "I am _not_ his subject."

He cringed, "No, Feyre… That was not… I mean… Cauldron boil me, I know we are not exactly best friends, but I would never for one second count you as one of his subjects after…" his voice trailed off, but I could see the unspoken words in his eye; _after Elain_. I nodded at him, turning back towards my dishevelled exterior.

"It is odd though, the timing. The risk of exposure. The king is usually subtler than this. Unless…" Lucien's voice trailed off as he was lost to his own thoughts.

"Unless?"

"Unless the king was _not_ behind this."

"It seems like too much of a coincidence that a daemati just happens to attack me on the day the king shows up here." I countered.

"Yes, but… No, never mind for now, we don't have time." I gave him a sharp look, but turned to face the mirror again. He was right.

"How long was I gone?" I had no idea how long I had fought inside my head. It could have been seconds or days. "It's only been six minutes since we left the receiving room, but we should get back soon. We don't need Jurian coming up here, sniffing around." I could have sworn that his eyes flickered to my glamoured hand, but he just rose from the bed, straightening his tunic a bit.

"Do you know who the daemati is?"

"No."

"Did he gain access to your mind?"

"No." I said, focused on sliding the silver combs back into my hair at exactly the same spot they had been before.

"No?" Disbelief clouded his voice and I turned to face him. His eyes were wide.

"No, he didn't" My voice was cool and steady, even though I was lying. The daemati _had_ gone through some of my shields, but I had no intention of explaining that right now. It would lead to too many questions about what I hid in my core.

"The power I gained from the night court helps me defend against such attacks. The power is difficult to control, though." I added weakly, to cover the real extent of my powers.

"You… You can ward off a fully trained daemati?" Disbelief clouded every word and I shrugged.

"Sometimes. Today, I could."

"That's impressive." He smiled at me. Actually smiled. "What else can you do?"

He sounded genuinely curious and I sensed no strain in his voice or body. _Interesting._ I gave him a small smile. "Let's get through this visit without any of us beating the hell out of Ianthe or Jurian and then maybe we can start figuring out what I can do." A peace offering of sort. One I hoped he would accept.

He tensed as if he had forgotten all about our _guests_ for a second. "Sure, Feyre." And gave me a lopsided grin "but if Ianthe puts her disgusting claws on me again…" "I will rip them off." I said matter-of-factly and he made a sound that could have been a snort or a small laugh.

I was surprised by how good it felt to talk this freely with Lucien again. I _had_ missed him, and I felt so utterly alone in the spring court. Maybe… maybe Lucien could become a true friend. Maybe… With a last, satisfied glance in the mirror, Lucien and I made our way back down to the receiving room.

The king's guards watched us as we entered the room, but said nothing. I let my eyes wander, searching their faces for any sign of drain or hurt. I found none. Either the daemati was not in here or he had recovered enough to appear unhurt. At least he would not be able to enter my mind again, until his powers replenished.

"Feyre, there you are." Ianthe's sensuous voice was like a splash of cold water on my face. Lucien stiffened at my side, but stayed by my side.

"You two were gone so long that I was afraid you had fallen ill:" The innocence in her voice was too perfect. Did she know? "You _do_ look pale. Is your head giving you trouble?" Oh she definitely knew. Scheming bitch. "No, not at all." I gave her a silky-smooth smile "The wine has to go somewhere, right."

"Yes of course. And dear Lucien is so protective of you. It is so nice to see that your little visit to the night court hasn't changed anything between the two of you."

 _My little visit to the night court?_ That was how she wanted to look at my escape. My lips tightened and an image of me, clawing at her too perfect face flashed before my eyes.

"It's good to have you back, Feyre. Maybe now that there are two of us, we can teach these spring court lords a thing or two." Her smile was positively serpentine. _Two_ of us. Two of what? I merely smiled at her, and made to turn towards the seating arrangement that Lucien and I had used before. She caught my arm and looked straight at me.

"Feyre, I am sorry about your sisters." My body went rigid and she continued. "They should be here, enjoying immortality with you, with us." Her voice broke a little and her performance was so stellar that I almost sensed real regret. _Almost._

I couldn't help myself as I said, in a low voice, "Enjoying immortality?"

"Yes, isn't being a high fae better than the miserable lives they had as humans?"

She _had_ known the kings plans then. And she was dangling it before me as bait, waiting for me to latch on. Lucien's hand curled into a fist, and the white of his knuckles shone against his skin. I would love nothing more but for him to take a swing at her, but instead I placed a calming hand on his arm. A casual gesture to anyone but the three of us.

"And the risk to their lives?" I spat at Ianthe.

"I knew they would make it. You have told me so much about them. The wild, burning rage in Nesta and the quiet strength of Elain. They were perfect candidates. And they _did_ make it Feyre. You can be with them forever, once we retrieve them from the night court. I did this for you, Feyre. Because you are my friend."

Her twisted logic made bile rise in my stomach and I wanted to vomit all over her perfect, grey robe. She dared defend herself. Dared say that she knew what was best for my sisters. I couldn't control my anger. Fire roared in my ears, looking for a way out. I was a living flame, ready to purge and Ianthe was my target. She must have seen my eyes change because she cocked her head to the side, a vicious smile tugging at her lips which seemed to say; _Show us Feyre. Show us that power you hide within._

Lucien's hand touched mine, which was now dug into his arm. The coldness of it surprised me, and I realised with horror that my hands were burning. My fingertips had already scorched their way through his tunic and onto his bare flesh. It must hurt like hell, but he had still braved it. Had still laid his other hand upon mine, burning himself even more. My power sizzled out of me with a whoosh. I would not give Ianthe the satisfaction of taking her bait.

My blue-grey eyes were frosty when I said, "We are _not_ friends." She pouted, but before she could open her mouth to speak I walked away, keeping my hand on Lucien's arm to cover the burned clothing. He shot me a look and I mouthed _I'm sorry._ He shrugged and led me to the chairs, to wait for Tamlin and the king. Ianthe, wisely, did not follow us.

Not five minutes later, the door to the study was opened, and the king, followed by a tight-lipped Tamlin, strode into the room. I tried to catch Tamlin's eye but he stared straight ahead, not looking at anyone. I swallowed my curiosity and moved to Tamlin's side. The king smiled broadly and a spider walked down my spine. His good mood did not bode well for us.

"It is a shame that we cannot stay longer – spring is such a lovely season." He paused as if waiting for a reply, but his words were met with silence.

I peered at Tamlin, but his face was unreadable and withdrawn. The mask of a high lord. I faced the king and found him staring flatly at me, no amusement on his plain, brutal face. I forced my face and body not to flinch, but instead meet his stare with an equally cold façade. I entwined my fingers with Tamlin's, stepping even closer to him and let defiance fill my eyes. The king needed to see that I would fight for Tamlin, for our love. He needed to believe that I _was_ in love. So, no matter how disgusted I was by Tamlin and his actions, I had to play this right.

A small, cruel smile twisted on the king's lips as he looked at us. A cat playing with its dinner. If only I could snarl back and reveal the wolf within me.

The king's soldiers filed in behind him, and with that arrogant smile that I had come to hate, he just said "See you in one month." before turning to walk towards the door. As he walked past Ianthe, he inclined his head at her and said, with his back to us "Good luck with the ladies, high lord." And then he was gone.

The entire house let out a sigh of relief. Tamlin tucked me close and the smell of lilac and cedar enveloped me. I leaned into him, filling my mind with a different scent – the scent of my mate. "Feyre" he whispered, his mouth buried in my hair. I held him closer, reassuringly. I was still here. I was still with him. _I was still trying to destroy him from within._ "Come" he said, talking to both Lucien and me, dismissing Ianthe with a stare. I couldn't help it when I smiled gloatingly at her back.

We walked to his study and sat in the worn armchairs. Tamlin poured us a glass of wine and handed them to us, stopping a second to caress my hand. His forest-green eyes were weary and tired.

"I had an… _interesting_ meeting with the king and I won't bore you with the details."

"but…" I started but he held a hand up, cutting me off.

"It has been a _very_ long meeting" he emphasised "and I will tell you the important parts now. The details can wait."

I almost exploded. His dismissal was not surprising, but I needed the details too, if my presence here were to have any merit at all. Of course he did not know that.

Tamlin straightened, his eyes hardening slightly and I knew that right now, he was a high lord, speaking to his subjects. "Starting from tomorrow, Feyre will begin training, both regular combat training and learning the extent of her powers. Lucien, you will mainly be doing the training, since I have other things to take care of, but I will help as often as I can."

As he looked at me, his expression softened with a mixture of love and pain "the king demanded this. As a way to make sure that you are ready to aid him." I shrugged, actually pleased that I would finally be doing _something._

"Jurian will join you every third day to oversee your training..."

"What?" Lucien and I said at the same time.

"That was the compromise. The king wanted him to train you daily at first."

I shivered at the thought of Jurian being my trainer and in that moment I was actually thankful for Tamlin and his stubbornness.

"We are to retrieve the book within a month and… Feyre I think that I might need your help." I flat out stared at him. He asked for help? _My_ help?

He misread my look and believing I was horrified at the thought, he gripped my face with his hands, letting his thumb graze my cheek.

"I'm sorry, Feyre. You are one of the few people who have been there and returned. I won't force you to go, you know that…" I cringed a bit, hoping that he would see it as a sign of bad memories from the night court flooding my mind and not as a reaction to his touch.

"I want to help. You know that." I whispered, not daring to let any real eagerness shine through. He smiled at me, a devastated sorrowful smile.

"And… Elain." Lucien said quietly.

Tamlin's shoulders slumped as he turned to face his emissary. "We are not to touch her."

"WHAT?" Lucien exploded

"The king expressly forbids us from rescuing her when we go for the book. There are too many variables. Rescuing her might very well endanger the entire mission." Tamlin spoke with authority, meant to subdue Lucien. It did not work.

"Are you telling me that I have to leave my mate there? Tamlin, you cannot be serious. She is in the night court. They are…"

Tamlin interrupted, "Exactly! She is probably already under _his_ control. We can't risk bringing her here." He looked to me pleadingly as if hoping I would agree, but Lucien did not back down.

"So when it's your love in danger, you force the entire court to roam the lands, looking for her. You force us to go months without proper sleep, to watch as you destroy yourself and those that care for you. Watch as _she_ spins her web of lies to…"

"ENOUGH." Tamlin roared, his claws bursting through his skin.

"No. It is not nearly enough. She is my mate, Tam. Do you even understand what that mean? My mate! And I am not leaving her to a fate worse than death, cauldron be damned."

I stared at the two high fae males, in stunned surprise. I had never imagined Lucien snapping like this. And the things he said…

" . . ." Tamlin said through clenched teeth. His hands shook with the effort of controlling his power. An image of red paint, splattered on the walls and me quivering on the floor flashed through my mind.

"No. I have done everything for you, but you cannot expect me…"

A loud boom shook the house and Tamlin burst into his beast form, snarling at Lucien with bared teeth.  
"Tamlin…" I tried, not wanting anyone to get hurt but he merely snapped his massive jaws at me and prowled towards Lucien.

"Your high lord commands you to obey." The beast said in a guttural voice, more animal than fae. I looked at Lucien, but where I expected to find fear and submission, I saw a spark of defiance, awakened by the mating bond. Despite myself, I was impressed with him.

"No." he said, his voice strong.  
Tamlin roared, his anger bursting through the room, shattering glass and furniture in its wake. And then he lunged for Lucien's throat.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

 **Feyre**

Time seemed to slow as I watched Tamlin throw himself at Lucien, with everything he had. His sharp teeth gleamed in the soft light pouring in from the huge windows. The bright light of day had given way to the twilight of the evening and shadows seemed to gather in every corner of the world. I had seen Tamlin's temper flare before – had seen his power burst through the room, but I still felt true terror in my core. I tried to force my body to react – to do something, but I was frozen in place.

Lucien, nimble as a fox, dodged the first attack, moving so fast that even my fae eyes had difficulties following the movement. Tamlin adjusted his attack instantly and this time, Lucien did not have time to dodge it. Instead he blocked the attack with his left arm and blood sprayed as Tamlin's claws ripped into his skin. Lucien flinched, losing his focus for a second, but it was enough. Tamlin's right paw collided with Lucien's jaw with incredible accuracy. I heard the sound of bones crunching as the power of the punch caused Lucien to slam against the wall, across the room.  
I watched in horror as Tamlin stalked to him, his beast form trembling with whatever raging emotions he felt. Lucien was up in an instant, clutching his now bleeding arm. His eyes were filled with burning defiance as he took a defensive position I knew all too well. He would stand his ground.

Tamlin read it too, and he let out an earthshattering roar, the sound travelling along my skin, into my bones. Lucien dodged another attack with a swiftness and skill that surprised me. I had never really seen him fight, and even though he was not nearly as powerful and lethal as the males of my own court, his speed was impressive.

My mind circled around a long buried memory of a time when I had triggered the same anger in Tamlin as I felt right now. I couldn't allow this to go on. Couldn't allow those memories to gain a foothold in my mind.

"Please." I heard myself whisper. "Please, stop." Lucien shot me a quick glance, but it cost him. Tamlin threw him to the ground and pressed his long, sharp claws into his chest.

"You will do as I command." The beast growled as the claws dug into Lucien's flesh, drawing blood.

Lucien struggled against powerful body pinning him to the floor and spat "I will _not_ leave her. I cannot lose her. Not again." The pain in his voice hit me deeper than any physical blow. He had lost his faerie love all those years ago and I knew that another loss like it, the loss of Elain, would crush him. "I _have_ to get her back."

Tamlin snarled, his sharp teeth now mere inches from Lucien's face. "You will obey the orders of your high lord."

I knew his answer before he spoke it. Knew the fire burning in his veins, the desperate fight for Elain. For his mate. He would give everything for her.

"No." Lucien answered, his voice cold and devoid of feeling. "Not this time."

I saw a flash of pain in Tamlin's fae eyes, before they were filled with anger and rage so deep that I wanted to run for my life and never look back.

He let out another roar, digging the claws in so deep, that Lucien gasped in pain. He was going to kill him, I realised. Whatever primal nature lingered in the high lords had taken over and Lucien was now a threat to the stability of his lands.

 _No._ I didn't want Lucien to die. Despite everything, he did not deserve this. I felt my power blooming, filling my entire being, whispering to me. I had to stop this, even if I risked showing more than I wanted to. Tamlin had seen me shield before, so that would not come as a surprise, at least.

In the exact moment that Tamlin's teeth descended towards Lucien's exposed throat, I threw a shield of hard wind between them, while shielding myself as well. Ice crackled in my veins and the temperature in the room dropped drastically. Tamlin's jaws met with an impenetrable barrier and I would have laughed at the sight of him colliding with the rock hard surface of my power, had it not been for the incredible wrath that filled the room and made the manor shutter in terror. Lucien stared at Tamlin, shock painted on his handsome face. Tamlin whirled to look for the cause of the shield and as his eyes fell on me, I suddenly wondered if he was so far gone that he would lunge for me. I almost hoped he would.

"Tam, please." I breathed, stretching my hands towards him.

He shook his head, as if he tried to clear it and with that all the rage disappeared like dew in the morning sun.  
"Feyre" he said in his guttural, animal voice.

"Please." I repeated, despising myself for having to use that hated word. "No more." I willed tears into my eyes and I was surprised at how easily they came.

His beast form shuddered and then disappeared, leaving the familiar shape of the golden haired high lord of spring in its place. I let out a small breath; he'd stopped. Tamlin fell to his knees, shivering, but I couldn't focus on him, not yet. I still kept the shield on Lucien as I rushed to him, falling to the floor beside him. I looked him over, but his wounds had already clotted. He had a nasty bruise on his face, where Tamlin's paw had hit, but otherwise he was all right it seemed.

"Are you okay?" I asked him, checking the cuts on his arms as well. He stared back, hollow-eyed and weary.

"No."

"Will you be okay?"

"Yes." He whispered, his voice unsteady.

I gave him a nod and removed the shield, which still held him in place. He stood in a fluid movement, the blood and tears in his clothes the only sign of the fight that had just occurred.

I finally turned my attention towards Tamlin, not knowing how to proceed. He would have killed him. _Lucien,_ his friend and emissary who he had saved from the cruelty of the autumn court. Lucien, who had sacrificed so much for him and who was loyal to a fault. And for what? Because he wouldn't _obey_. Because he wanted to protect his mate. Tamlin had gone to extreme lengths to get me back, and yet he had no compassion for Lucien's situation. I wasn't even his mate. I seethed, wanting to slap him so hard that his head sang. But I knew I couldn't. I knew I had to play my part and forgive him. I could still be angry, though. Angry was good. Anger was exactly what human Feyre had felt.

Tamlin raised his head and looked at me, at us. "I… I'm sorry." His voice was raw and filled with emotion.

"You would have killed him." I said, shock lingering in my voice.

"I… I don't know… I never meant to." He finally looked at Lucien who stared back, equal parts of horror and pain showing on his face.

"Lucien..." Tamlin said his name like a plea.

"Tam… I know.. I…" Lucien sounded so beaten, so broken down that I wanted to scream at him. He had to stand up for himself. The defiance I had seen in him had been real, but now there was nothing left, as if the fight had sucked every ounce of emotion out of him.

"Feyre…" Tamlin said, voice shaking, "Please… Forgive me. I don't know what to do. I know she is your sister. I know. But… please, say something."

He was apologising to me, not Lucien? I looked from one male to another, shaking my head. They were too calm. As if this was not the first time a thing like this had happened. How many times had Lucien been a victim of Tamlin's temper when I was at the night court? I flinched at the thought, because a small, traitorous part of my mind whispered that I had caused this. I mentally shook myself. It wouldn't help me to think like that. I knew they were both waiting for me to react, but it was so difficult to even care. I was sick and tired of these games, of the flares of temper and the secrets.

"What do you want me to say." My voice sounded too cold and I forced myself to cup his chin with my hand, my ebony skin a stark contrast to his tan face.

"I don't know. Say that you hate me. That you despise me. Just say something" He said, pressing my hand to his face.

 _Murderer, liar, traitor_ my mind whispered and it was an effort not to let those words shine through my eyes as I looked into his green eyes. "I don't hate you. This isn't you. It is the king, pinning us against each other. We have to be strong." My voice was steady and as Tamlin buried his head at my chest, holding me too him in a crushing embrace, I held Lucien's gaze. His russet eye stared back, with a glimmer of the defiance that I had seen in him earlier. Good.

"Feyre." Tamlin mumbled against my skin, grazing my collarbone with his lips. His hands roamed freely on my back, possessive and strong. I pulled away a bit, to catch his eyes. He had to believe that I wanted this as well and that there would be time for it… Later. I poured every ounce of desire for Rhys into my gaze and whispered "Later." The words had a hollowness to them, so different from how they sounded when my mate was near.

Tamlin stiffened, then nodded. He stood, looking at Lucien and winced at the fading bruise on his face. "Lucien" Tamlin said, but Lucien merely held up a hand.

"It's done." he said coolly, brushing his tunic which, for the most part, was in shreds. Well, at least the burn marks I had left on his clothes were invisible now.

I turned to Tamlin, knowing that his guilt would make him vulnerable.

"Elain… We can't just leave her." Lucien stiffened but I continued. "We have to get her. And Nesta. Who knows what they are going through."

Tamlin made to speak but I went on "I'm not saying that we go now or tomorrow. Just… Don't give up. Don't make me give up on them. You made a promise, but I didn't. Maybe… Maybe we can use that." It was expected of me to fight for my sisters. And any chance to plan a trip to the night court was perfect for me. Tamlin stared at me, and I feared that I had pushed him too far. When his shoulders dropped an inch and he brushed a finger across my brow, I knew I had won.

"We'll try Feyre. I promise. But we cannot show weakness" His voice was drained.

I knew his twisted logic probably told him that Lucien going against his wishes to save his _mate_ was treason and that he needed to uphold the law, no matter the cost. Just as he upheld the tithe because it was tradition.

Lucien whispered, barely audible, "my mate" and we both turned to look at him. The devastation on his face was so haunting that I had trouble looking away from it. He had been with Elain for only five minutes, and he already loved her. Was this how Rhys had felt when he saw me for the first time at Calanmai. Had he had the same look of pure loss when he returned to Under the Mountain. My heart ached for him _and_ for Lucien and I realised just how strong a mating bond truly was.

Tamlin took a step towards Lucien, but before he could speak, the doors to the study banged open.

"Cauldron be blessed; you are all right." Ianthe breezed into the room, her billowing robe a pool of grey around her.

"I heard a large roar and felt the tremors even in my temple. I feared that we were under attack." She took in the room, noticing the claw marks, the disarray of the furniture and the nearly healed bruise on Lucien's face.

"Oh" she said, stopping near us.

"There is no attack." Tamlin said, his eyes narrowing slightly.

"Good" she purred, placing a hand on her generous bosom to emphasise her relief.

"I was so worried for you." The oiliness of her voice slid along my skin and I wondered how I could ever have considered her a friend. She had been manoeuvring me for her own schemes and was still trying to do just that. My lip automatically curled up in what could have been a snarl or a smile. Why was she even here?

"We're fine." I snapped through clenched teeth, my voice much harder than I had anticipated.

Ianthe gave me a broad smile that did not reach her eyes. "Good. If you're done with your little… squabble, then maybe we should talk about the mission to the night court. If we are to get the book and your sisters, it will require careful planning. I have been praying on it and…" Tamlin cut in,

"Not now, Ianthe. We will discuss it later."

"But we need to get Feyre's sisters out as quickly as possible." Her voice was too innocent. _Cunning snake_. She had probably been spying on us and knew exactly why Lucien and Tamlin had fought. And now she hoped to pit us against each other – again.

Lucien turned pale and before any of the males could answer and possibly start another round of fighting, I merely said, "We will."

"And when is that, exactly? You must miss them. And Lucien… Being away from a _mate_ is not easy." My breath caught at the way she stressed the word mate. She couldn't know, because if she did, the king would have known too. _Careful_ my mind whispered and I took a deep breath, letting some of the tension in my body go. I was a fairly docile fae lady – that was my role.

"Enough, Ianthe." Tamlin's voice sliced through the room with deadly precision. Another command.

She turned to him, her eyes roaming his body, taking in the hard muscles that were still taut from the fight. A predatory gleam settled in her eyes and she gave him a sensuous smile. "I'm sorry Tam. I just want to help dear Feyre." Tamlin's face softened slightly, but before he could answer, we were interrupted by a sentry who spoke to Tamlin, in a hushed whisper.

"I have to take care of something, but I will be back shortly. Dinner will be served in an hour." He was again a high lord, full of power and life. He gripped my chin and stared into my eyes, his other hand encircling my waist. "I love you" His eyes glazed for a moment before he pressed his mouth against mine, forcing it open with his tongue. I hadn't been prepared, and I immediately locked my feelings away, because if I let myself feel I would scream with rage and hatred. I despised his hands on my body, the way he forced himself on me, but with Ianthe, the sentry and even Lucien staring, I had no choice but to yield to him. I flung my hands around his hard-muscled neck and buried my fingers in the softness of his golden hair. His lips moved on mine, craving more and I gave it. They needed to see this and I could endure. Tamlin moaned slightly, pressing my body even closer to his until only our clothes separated us.

A nearly inaudible cough made Tamlin stiffen, then pull away. He had business to attend to. I gave him a smile, before turning to the others. Ianthe's eyes shone and her mouth was set in a relaxed smile, but behind that I was sure I glimpsed pure hatred. Tamlin gave my hand a squeeze and left.

The lanterns in the garden created dancing shadows on the tapestries in the study, that reminded me of laughter and joy and I was suddenly overcome with bone-deep weariness. I wanted time alone to gather my thoughts and sift through all the information I had gained today.

Lucien caught my eye and his expression no doubt mirrored my own. Tamlin had tried to kill him – probably would have if I had not stepped in. Had the pressure of the king's visit really been the trigger? Or had I just never let myself see the blind obedience he demanded of his subjects? I let out a small sigh and turned towards the door. I'd had enough. A long bath before dinner was all I wanted.  
"So…" Ianthe drawled "when _will_ you get them back?" With Tamlin gone, she let some of her innocent demeanour fade away, leaving cold calculation in its place.

"None of your business." I quipped back, but the words were not nearly as sharp as I had hoped.  
She shrugged giving Lucien an innocent smile "I just figured that Lucien would be desperate. She is his after all."

"Shut up." Lucien snarled, stalking towards her.

Ianthe straightened, her features softening as she said, "I understand, Lucien. She is your mate, she should be here, with you. It must be difficult to think of her being in the night court, just as it was difficult for Tamlin when Feyre was taken from us."

"You don't…" Lucien said, his lips pressed into hard lines. "you don't get to talk about her. Or mention her. She is there because of _you_." Lucien's russet eye glared at Ianthe with such hatred that I actually thought he would attack her right there.

"I've told you, this was not what I planned. I never meant for anyone to get hurt." Ianthe said, her voice breaking on the words. The act was so perfect that I wondered whether she believed it herself. She placed a hand on Lucien's arm, but he ripped it away.

"Don't touch me." He growled. I moved to stand beside him, if only to keep him grounded.

Ianthe stared at him, her eyes wide with fake hurt.

"I know you're hurting. Tamlin was too, but he got through it and Feyre has now returned to us. You too, will get over this. I can help you…"

"Like you helped Tam?" Lucien spat in her face, focusing entirely on her.

Ianthe's eyes flicked to me then settled on Lucien. "I help where I am needed."

Lucien snorted. "You _help_ when there is something in it for you."

"I pray to the cauldron and seek guidance. Sometimes, my prayers are answered."

I had never seen Lucien lose his temper this fast He was so adept at keeping up his cool, distant façade that I hadn't actually thought that he _could_ lose it. The events of today must indeed have shaken him deeply.

"Bullshit." Lucien barked "you take advantage of people, to further your own selfish desires. That's it."

Ianthe was surprisingly unfazed by his words, her face set in a mask of serenity. "I do what is demanded of me. Sometimes that means doing things I don't particularly enjoy but…" Her voice trailed off, giving Lucien a small knowing smile, like a mother to an unruly child.

"Like Calanmai?" Lucien's voice was coated with ice.

Ianthe paled and I heard her heart skip a beat before regaining her composure. She looked from Lucien, to me and back again.

"I did what I had to do. What tradition demands."

Calanmai… Traditions. There were of course many traditions on Calanmai, but combined with the bits and pieces of information I had gathered today, like the king's not so subtle hints about Tamlin and his two ladies, it was safe to assume that my suspicions were correct. Ianthe had taken the role of the maiden on Calanmai – Tamlin had bedded her. I waited for rage or anger to rise, but nothing; I felt absolutely nothing. I couldn't care less about what they did and with whom. If anything, they probably deserved each other.

Lucien let out a hiss "You seemed a little too eager to oblige that _tradition_ , Ianthe."

I shifted on my feet and Lucien caught the movement with his metal eye. He looked at me, guilt and pain written on his handsome features. He had obviously forgotten all about me and was now dreading what I might have concluded. He didn't need to worry. There was no reason for me to show my hand just yet – not with Tamlin out of the house.

Ianthe caught the look and smiled "Jealous, Lucien?" This time, Lucien went dead silent and his stance shifted slightly – a fighting stance, I recognized from the hours I had spent training with Cassian. This damned day seemed never-ending and I really wanted that bath before dinner.

"Enough." I said, voice level as I pinned both of them with a glare. "Dinner is ready in one hour." And for the second time that day, I dragged Lucien away from Ianthe, for both our sakes.

"Feyre… I…" Lucien began but I interrupted him.

"I mean it, Lucien. Enough. I just want to relax until dinner, take a bath and work through the day." My head throbbed, as it had done since the daemati had attacked me, but now I felt it as a living thing, writhing and expanding in my head. I needed some peace and quiet.

Lucien nodded reluctantly and made to speak, but as we walked through the doors of the receiving room, Tamlin's voice sounded from the outer doors.

"Where are you off to?"

I realised that my arm was still linked with Lucien's and I quickly let go. "I want to take a bath before dinner."

Tamlin's eyes danced with mischief and desire. I groaned internally.

"I can draw a bath for you, Feyre." His words were heavy, coated with burning desire,

I couldn't deal with his advances, not right now. I was tired, aching and I missed Rhys. I scrambled for a suitable refusal, but Lucien stepped in front of me. "Actually, Tam, we need to talk."

I could have kissed him right then and there. He glanced at me and his eyes glimmered with something – understanding perhaps?

Tamlin stiffened and looked at me longingly but I merely stepped up, gave him a quick kiss and hurried upstairs, not giving him time to react.

I called for my servants to fill the bathtub and not five minutes later I was enveloped in delicious hot water, scented with citrus and jasmine, my own personal blend.

I tugged at the bond, and the answer was nearly instant. _Rhys_. I sent an image of myself, naked in the bath down the bond and I felt white-hot desire surge back. I laughed quietly at that, hoping that I had disturbed him while doing something important. What I wouldn't give to be with him.

My head still pounded and I closed my mind, only leaving a small opening for the bond. I truly needed silence, both from the outside and from within. I soaked in the water for thirty minutes before I realized that the water had turned cold. I heaved myself out of the tub, enveloped my body in a large towel and walked to the bed. I lay down, opening the book I was currently reading and started sifting through the pages. A small knock pulled me back to reality and I turned towards the door. "Come in." I said and the door opened, revealing auburn coloured hair – Lucien.

He hurried inside, closing the door behind him with a soft thud.  
"Tam is checking the grounds before dinner. I just wanted to thank you, Feyre. What you did… You saved me, saved _him._ He… He hasn't been that way since you returned but I think today was a bad day." _No kidding,_ I wanted to say, but let him continue. He pulled a hand through his hair, leaning casually against the wall. "I don't know what to believe anymore. Tam is my _friend._ I cannot leave him, but Elain…" He threw his hands into the air. "She is my _mate_."

I nodded. "I know, Lucien."

His eyes turned to me, took in my body barely covered by the towel and a faint blush showed on his cheeks as he tried to settle his eyes anywhere but on me.

I grinned at him, "Relax Lucien, you really aren't my type."

"Well, that doesn't mean that you should prance around naked in front of me." He smiled back.

"Prancing?" I laughed.

He just grinned, but his eyes soon turned serious again. "I don't know where this leaves us, Feyre. I guess we'll figure it out. But you have to know that I would do _anything_ for Elain. Remember that." He turned to the door "See you at dinner." And then he was gone.

I rubbed my temples, trying to sort out my own thoughts. Lucien had become a tentative ally, who I didn't know if I could trust. Tamlin was an unstable, possessive high lord who believed I was as fragile as glass, and Ianthe was a scheming, selfish snake, playing her own games with everyone at this court. On top of that the king expected me to help him break the wall _and_ convince the other high lords to support him. Meanwhile I had to keep up appearances in front of everyone and make sure that I used my position in the spring court to our advantage. I let out a low groan as I let these thoughts sink in.

After a while lying in complete silence, I got off the bed and called the servants to help me dress for dinner. At least Lucien had let go of his hostility towards me. He had even hinted at wanting to work together for Elain. I could use that. _We_ could use that. I grazed the bond in my mind, _I love you_ I whispered and let the words trickle along the bridge keeping our minds connected. I smiled at his answering purr. My high lord.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

 **Feyre**

I made my way downstairs and walked into the familiar dining room that had once felt so homely. The table was set for three and I let out an audible sigh of relief. I would not have to deal with Ianthe at the dinner. Lucien and Tamlin lounged in a pair of comfy chairs, seemingly at ease. Tamlin's golden hair glowed in the light of the candles and caressed his shoulders as he turned his head towards me. His eyes lightened at the sight of me and he stood in a fluid motion. Every step he took was lined with masculine power and once again, I understood the human I had been. He was indeed the very image of protection.

"Feyre." He said as a way of greeting, pressing his lips against my cheek. His obvious happiness made me queasy and I struggled against a need to scream at the top of my lungs. Not one hour ago, the two of them had been at each other's throats and now, they acted as if nothing had happened. On top of that, the king threatened our very existence and controlled our lives. How could they ignore this? How could Tamlin look at me with such painfully deep devotion. Would he really bring down the world as we knew it for love? I wasn't even his mate! The dining room walls closed in on me and I trembled with anger, disgust and…. Fear, I realised. I feared Tamlin's undying devotion to me. Feared its consequences.

"Let's eat." Lucien interrupted my stream of thoughts.

"Only the three of us?" I asked, secretly wondering what would keep Ianthe from dinner. She had seemed hell bend on ruining my day.  
"Yes, Ianthe is praying." Tamlin said stiffly.

I smiled, in answer. Good. I had had enough drama for one day.

As we sat at the table, eating one exquisite course after another, I couldn't help but compare this lavish affair, to the delicious, yet simple meals we enjoyed at the night court. I could almost hear Mor groan as Rhys and Amren, once again, threw themselves into a discussion that they knew none of them would win. I could imagine Cassian shovelling food into his mouth while he kept talking, annoying Mor with his bad manners. Azriel would, naturally, keep out of it all, but he would observe and maybe even give one of his rare smiles. There were no formalities or ranks to uphold.

Tamlin's voice interrupted my string of thoughts. "So, tomorrow Lucien will take you to the training fields and begin." I realised that he had been speaking to me for a while and I hadn't been paying attention.

"I'm sorry, what?

Tamlin gave me an indulgent smile "We have to start your training tomorrow. Lucien will take you to the training fields and go through basic combat techniques. Nothing too difficult, don't worry."

I bristled at the suggestion that I couldn't handle difficult, but merely said "and my… my powers." I purposely sounded insecure, as if I had no clue what those powers were.

"Yes, we'll have to figure them out too." His voice had grown darker than before.

I didn't want to go down that path right now, so I turned to Lucien. "When do we begin?"

"Tomorrow at dawn. So no sleeping in." His eyes glittered with what looked like excitement.

I grimaced, "Does it have to be that early?"

"Yes _my lady_." Lucien mocked "I have other obligations than trying to whip you into shape."

I snorted "We'll see if you can keep up."

"Big words from someone who only spends her time reading and painting. When was the last time you..." Lucien teased back, but his smile faltered as he opted _not_ to finish his sentence. He had seen me defeat the Middengard, Under the Mountain. He had seen me in the woods, clad in Illyrian fighting gear, defending myself and Rhys. He might not know how extensive my training had been, but he knew that I had it in me. Knew that I could indeed take care of myself.

I gave Lucien a reassuring smile, mostly to appease Tamlin, who had gone rigid in his seat. "Fine, dawn it is then." My words were light and playful, and Lucien gave me a small smile in return.

I turned towards Tamlin, who had still not relaxed his posture, and placed a hand on his tanned arm, squeezing it slightly to assure him that I was fine.

His green eyes met mine and he gave me a strained smile, that turned brighter as I traced my finger along the length of his arm. Somehow, this gesture made me feel even more horrible than the kisses I had shared with him today. This felt too intimate, too loving. I didn't want to calm him down or nurse his pride. He should be begging me for forgiveness, but instead he pretended that nothing had happened. I seethed, and needed to take a deep breath to calm myself. I had been juggling Ianthe, Jurian, the King, Tamlin _and_ Lucien, not to mention being attacked by a fully trained daemati – and all in one day. Exhaustion hit me hard and it was all I could do not to just drop from my chair right then and there.

"It has been a long, eventful day" Tamlin had obviously seen the change in me, "maybe you should get some sleep, Feyre."

"Yes, I think I'll just go for a walk in the gardens before retiring for the night."

"Do you want company?" His eyes shifted between me and Lucien. They were obviously not done talking.

"No, it's fine. I need to clear my head. I'll stay in the inner gardens." I truly needed time for myself. I needed to be outside, under the night sky. Needed to feel the wind on my face and the brightness of the stars twinkling above me.

Tamlin nodded and got up when I rose. "See you tomorrow, love." His lips brushed mine in a faint kiss that should have sent sparks flying all over my body, but instead it made me even more tired.

Lucien merely inclined his glass of wine at me, but his eyes… they were no longer merely filled with loathing and mistrust. There was a glimmer of a smile in them too - a genuine smile.

I walked in the gardens, taking a too familiar path that I had walked countless times during those awful months when I had returned here after Under the Mountain. The spring night was beautiful and the different fragrances of the blooming roses swirled around me in almost visible patterns, but it was the night sky that I really studied. Here, the stars seemed muted, as if hidden by a veil. So different from the vibrant, living stars that glittered above Velaris.

I could almost sense the life of the city – restaurants with delicious smells and quiet conversations; the streets that were filled with vendors and people enjoying the night; the rainbow road, bright and bathed moonlight, it's theatres bustling with music and life. I missed it so much and I wondered if it was still the same. If the people of Velaris were still happy and carefree. Maybe the king had taken that away too, when he attacked it, destroying a part of its innocence. I knew Rhys and Amren had reinforced the wards surrounding the city, but would it be enough?

The screams of my people when they were attacked still lingered in my ears. I could smell the blood, the fear. Never again! A sharp wind pulled my hair loose of its pins and I realised that I had loosened the grip on my slumbering powers. I took a deep breath, soothing the wind, stroking it with calming fingers. My cheeks were wet and I realised with a start that I was crying. Selfishly, I wondered for a split second what would happen if I simply left. Returned to the night court and fought alongside my court.

 _No._ I couldn't do that. Just like everyone else, I had a job to do, a role to play. It was time that I started acting as the high lady of the night court, not just thinking like her. I played with the shadows gathering on my skin, as I came to a sharp turn in the garden.

A sudden change in the air had me pausing and a slight trickling of gravel alerted me that someone was near. Instinctively, I pressed myself into a nook in the hedge. I hadn't realised that I had wandered so far. I was at the outer perimeter of the back gardens – who would come here at this hour?

The silent footsteps crept closer and instinct had me gather the shadows around me, hopefully concealing me enough so that whoever was coming wouldn't notice me. I quickly realised that the footsteps weren't actually coming from the garden, but from the other side of the perfectly trimmed, tall hedge. They stopped a few feet from where I stood and silence crept in, turning the lovely spring air heavy. My ears picked up two breaths and I held my own, in fear of being discovered.

"Report." A low guttural voice sounded through the hedge and I clammed a hand to my mouth. My mind flashed with images of a dark hallway Under the Mountain, Nuala and Cerridwen pressing me into a shadowy corner, shielding me from the attor and this… thing. I had no idea what it looked like, but I knew that I had heard it before; and I knew it worked for the king.

My mind screamed with inconceivable anger as I heard Ianthe answer, voice steady. "They plan to uphold the King's terms."

"Of course." The guttural voice snorted.

"But…" Ianthe continued, seemingly unaffected by whom, _what_ she was talking to "it seems Lucien is more torn up about his mate than I anticipated. He actually challenged his high lord for her. Naturally, Tamlin put him in his place, but there might be something there."

"And the girl?" the voice snorted, like a pig.

"Feyre? She is confused. I don't know what they did to her at the night court or if she is truly free…"

"Do you question the power of our High King?" The voice interrupted, malice dripping from each word.

"Never. I can take care of Feyre. She just needs to trust me again." Ianthe said, her voice clear and calm. "She will probably want to fight for the return of her sisters. I can use that to our advantage."  
"Just remember your bargain Ianthe." The creature snorted angrily.

"As long as the King remembers his promise."  
So Ianthe had struck a deal – I had gathered as much before, but apparently, she was still working to fulfil it. Turning my sisters in hadn't been enough.

The voice drawled "The king doesn't break promises." I wanted to snort at that, but I stopped myself.

"Any news from the night court?" Ianthe's words sent a bolt of fear through me and I strained my pointed ears to make sure that I caught each word.  
"The night court is always a challenge to deal with, but we know the placement of _all_ their cities, we know who they are and we know that they have been weakened by their foolish trip to Hybern. The King has already made plans for their inevitable downfall." The creature gloated. I stiffened. What plans? How? When?

"And when will that be?" the anticipation in Ianthe's voice was hard to miss.

"All in good time. For now, we´ll keep distracting them. All I can say is that soon, the high lord of night will be busy…" The creature lowered its voice to a guttural whisper that was difficult to pick up "both with his pathetic _hidden_ city and with his eastern borders."

They were attacking Velaris and the eastern borders. I wanted to throw myself out of hiding and unleash my powers, let them see me before I wrapped them in wind, fire, ice, and darkness. My blood boiled and thrummed in my ears. They were attacking the night court, and I wasn't there. I needed to warn them, but I couldn't move. They would surely hear me.

Ianthe's cold small laugh slithered down my spine and into my veins.  
"Interesting." Was all she said.

"Keep watching. And don't be fooled by the girl. She knows more than she might be willing to show you."

"I can handle her."

"For your sake, I hope you are right." The voice threatened, then turned mocking "You wouldn't want to her to take your place in court now, would you?"

"Tamlin is mine." Ianthe hissed, then continued, her voice calm "He is already bound to me." I bared my teeth at the arrogance in her voice. What did she mean? Bound how?

The creature gave another pig-snort and then, without a word, disappeared. I could feel the air turning normal and the overwhelming silence fading away. Ianthe let out a low sigh and walked away on near-silent feet.

I waited five minutes before half running back to the manor, still cloaked in shadow. What had I just witnessed? Who was that… thing ? How could Ianthe be so incredibly stupid and selfish? Okay, maybe that was not surprising, but still…How could she justify spying on us like that? And the attack… I needed to contact Rhys now.

I was so wrapped up in thoughts that I didn't notice Tamlin before I half ran right into his massive body. I took a few wobbly steps back, looking at his face which was quickly darkening with worry. _Shit_. Not only had I been cloaked in darkness, I was also shaking slightly, fear, anger and worry all too visible on my face.

"Feyre, what is it?" His voice was low and commanding, already assessing potential threats.

I made myself grasp his arm, deciding that a half-truth would be my salvation. "I was walking near the outer hedge of the back garden and I heard… something." My voice shook, which was not entirely for show "I don't know what it was, but it sounded so… Vicious. It grunted and snorted like a pig and…" Tamlin went rigid, and took my arm, gently but forcefully guiding me inside.

"You are safe here." He said, placed a kiss on the top of my head and barked orders at his sentinels. Search, protect, report. I sighed at that, not looking forward to the fight we'd have when I told that I refused to have his sentinels following my every movement.

No time to think about that now. I hurried upstairs, ignoring the two sentinels at my door. I found a pen and paper and wrote.

 _I just overheard a conversation between Ianthe and… Something. Hybern is planning to attack the night court. Both Velaris and the eastern borders will be hit._ As I scribbled the last words I tugged at the bond, just to get his attention, but there was no need. The paper disappeared immediately. It returned with only one word.

 _When?_

 _I don't know. It said soon._ Again, the paper vanished, only to return seconds later.

 _It?_

 _Yes "it". I couldn't see who she was talking to. I think I have met it before though. Under the Mountain, when Cerridwen and Nuala walked me to your quarters. It was speaking with the attor about Hybern at the time._

 _I see. And you were not detected?_

 _No._

 _Are you sure?_ I felt a tang of worry trace through our bond

 _Yes!_ Insufferable fae male. I sent a loving caress back.

 _Good. We will be prepared this time. Thanks to you, we will be prepared._ His words struck me. He was right. Me being here had finally paid off. My decision to stay was just.

 _Be careful. Remember my water wolves are not there to get you out of trouble._ It was a feeble attempt at lightening the mood, but I would be swallowed by worry if I didn't distract myself. I could feel his strained laughter through the bond as he responded

 _What I wouldn't give to see them in action._

I smiled and the paper disappeared before I could answer. When it returned, he had almost filled the paper with his elegant handwriting

 _We'll have to postpone our meeting tonight, Feyre darling. Even if the wards on Velaris are stronger than ever, they cannot hold without strong powers keeping them there. And the threat to the eastern border puts us at a slight disadvantage. It is really too bad about tonight. I had a wall of starlight reserved just for us – and I would have made you beg for more when I claimed you against it._

My body reacted instantly, a bundle of desire pooling in my core, as my pulse quickened. The thought of his hands pressing me against him, his body pinning me to the wall while his hips moved…

 _Prick_ I scribbled back in angry letters. He _knew_ how I would feel. A laughter rumbled down the bond. The paper appeared again.

 _Tomorrow at midnight. Let's meet then._

 _Okay. Be careful._ I wrote back

 _Always._ He replied and the paper vanished completely. I sighed. Even though I had just proven that I could help my court here, I still felt utterly useless now. They would have to face the immediate threat of Hybern's attack in their own. I knew that they could, but I wanted to be there. I wanted to fight alongside them.

I sat in the chair, lost in thoughts of my court, my home, my mate, when I heard the door click and then open. Tamlin slid inside, his golden hair gleaming in the soft light of the moon.

"You're up?" He looked almost startled at seeing me sitting in the chair, still fully dressed.

"I couldn't sleep. I've been reading." I pointed to the book before me, which I had used as a backdrop for writing the letter to Rhys.

His brows furrowed, clearly wondering how I was able to read an entire book, when my inability to read a few lines had almost killed me _and_ Lucien Under the Mountain. I didn't want to explain that now, so I asked, "Did you find anything?"

His body tensed, "No, nothing. But I promise that you are safe here."

"I know."

"Maybe… Maybe you should be careful where you walk alone." His words were hesitant, cautious.

"Don't…" My voice had grown weak and broke on every word "don't lock me up. Please. Not again." I wasn't entirely faking my horror at the thought of being treated like a prisoner. Again.

"No, Feyre. Never! That was a terrible, terrible mistake. I realised that almost immediately. It's just… I cannot bear losing you again. The thought of being that weak again."

He rushed to me, while speaking and knelt on the floor before me.

"We have so many enemies, and with the King using the territory I just want to keep you all safe."

"Strictly speaking, the King is our _ally_ , isn't he?" I spat, not able to keep it in.

Tamlin lowered his head, his long, golden hair brushing my thighs gently.

"I know you don't believe in what I did. But have you ever considered, that what the king offers could bring peace to Prythian? No more rivalry amongst the high lords, no more family feuds and killings."

I snorted under my breath, too quiet even for his fae hearing. He was naïve if he believed that the King would do anything but wreak havoc.

"And the mortal lands?" I injected.

"The mortal queens decide their fate, not I." Mortal queens? But they weren't mortal anymore.

He lifted his head to study my face and I knew I had to back down. He had to believe that I would do anything for our love.

I sighed, running my right hand through his soft hair. "I'm tired. I promise I won't wander off alone, but I cannot be locked up here."

"A promise is all I need." Tamlin answered, pulling me from my chair when he rose from the floor.

As he looked at me, his green eyes turned into liquid emeralds.

"I believe it is _later_ now." The desire shining through his eyes told me enough about what he meant and I wanted to scream at myself for whispering that to him earlier.

He pulled me tighter to him, tracing the contours of my face with his other hand.  
"You are so beautiful."

His hands caressed my delicately pointed ears and traced a finger from them, down my jaw, to my mouth. I shivered, not from lust but disgust. This was wrong. SO wrong. I ached for another set of hands on my body, my lips. I wanted to feel those violet eyes devour every inch of me, his nimble tongue licking, sucking until I was limb with pleasure.

My traitorous body responded to Tamlin's touch, because my mind was filled with someone else. I had to get away from him.

"I need to get ready for bed, this day feels like it has dragged on for weeks." I said, keeping my tone light as I lightly shoved at his shoulders.

He just gave me a sensuous smile, "I can help you with that."

I ground my teeth but managed to smile back "I _really_ like this gown. I don't want to see it in pieces on the floor."

He let out a low laugh, his eyes still bright. "Then by all means, Feyre… Go change." His tongue traced my collarbones and then he moved to my bed, placing himself on it, "I'll be waiting."

 _Shit. Shit shit shit._ How was I going to get out of it now, without making him suspicious? I had practically thrown myself at him the entire day, desperate to prove to the King, to Ianthe, even to Lucien, that I was deeply in love with Tamlin. _Stupid stupid stupid,_ my mind droned, as I walked to my dressing room, shaking with each step.

 _Feyre…._ The memory from last night, Rhys's voice and eyes telling me that he would understand. He would not blame me if I bedded Tamlin. _NO_ my mind screamed and my fingertips were suddenly burning with flame. I had to do something. I had to… Either giving up my body or giving up on helping my court couldn't be the only two options. And if they were, what would I do? I weighed each choice in my mind as a shed my gossamer dress and left it on the floor. I pulled my night gown over my head, letting it wrap around my body with a smooth caress. I _had_ to stay. Without the information that I gathered here, my court would be at a severe disadvantage. Running was not an option. Not now. I looked at my tattooed hand, tracing the swirling patterns with a finger – and smiled.

I took a deep breath, steadying myself and walked back into the room. Back to Tamlin who was still lying on my bed, ready for me. I smiled at him. A slow, confident smile that reached my eyes and he grinned back. He had no idea who he was dealing with.

.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

 **Feyre**

My steps were strong and confident as I sauntered towards the bed, the soft light of the evening shining through the windows. I could feel his ravenous gaze trace the curves of my body, as he watched my every move. His green eyes blazed with an almost predatory desire that only assured me that I was doing the right thing.

"Come here." He whispered in a low guttural voice.

I forced my eyes to brighten and then fill with a hunger that was fuelled by the need to feel Rhys's hands on my body. With a last thought of my mate, I warded off the bond between us, effectively blocking him from any emotions that I would feel. He should not have to endure this – not again.

A low, primal growl escaped Tamlin's lips as I climbed on to the bed. I remained seated on top of the smooth sheets, my knees tucked beneath me and took in his massive figure. Objectively, he was very handsome. Underneath his fine clothes, his frame was lined with muscles that spoke of the strength that prowled through his body. His skin was tan and perfect, only stained by the scars which I knew were hidden beneath his clothes. I breathed in his scent, remembering a time when I had found it so intoxicating that I couldn't breathe - now it was an effort not to cringe. I still enjoyed the individual smells; Lavender, rose, cedar, but something in his smell had changed. Beneath the woven fabric of _his_ scent I detected something else – something both mouldy and airy at the same time. What _was_ that? I concentrated on the smell, trying to separate it from everything else. Had it always been there? My brows furrowed slightly, but before I could think any further, I had to focus on Tamlin, because he was no longer satisfied just lying on the bed. He rose to his knees before me, his green eyes fixed on my face, reading every emotion there – or at least he thought he did.

"Feyre," he breathed "I know… I know it is… Difficult for you. I cannot imagine what you went through up there. I don't want to imagine." His voice was soft, but as he continued, it turned cold. "When I think about it, it makes me want to rip apart the world."

 _You did,_ I thought, but kept it to myself. Instead I cupped his cheeks with my hands.

"It was… _is_ difficult. I'm sorry if I've been cold to you. I'm sorry. It's just… My mind cannot seem to understand that it's over. That I am free." My mind made no internal apologies to my court this time. I did this for them.

"You are; You are home. You are safe. And together, we'll figure things out. I know we will." His hands grabbed my hips and pulled me closer, our bodies almost touching.

My temper flared by the suggestion that _we_ had to figure out _his_ mess. The list of _things_ to figure out seemed to be ever growing: Helping my sisters, training with Lucien, dealing with the king, saving the mortal lands. Not to mention the situation with Ianthe. I felt the skin on my hands stretch and twist, the burst of emotion bringing my shapeshifting abilities to the forefront of my mind. I did not need to call upon my powers - they were already there, ready to be wielded. _Focus_ my mind warned and I turned my attention to the present and the male body so close to mine.

"Tamlin…" My voice shook with what I hoped sounded like love and desire, not hidden power.

Before I could say any more, his lips crushed mine in a wild, brutal kiss. His mouth moved impatiently on mine, as his hands roamed over my body, tugging at my nightgown – he wanted bare skin. I tried to answer the kiss, but the wildness of it caught me off guard. I could fake love and desire, but true passion was difficult. He sensed my hesitation and pulled back an inch.

"Are you…" he started, but I shut him up with my lips. I needed to get on with it, before my determination faded. The iron-resolve that I had gathered in my dressing room still soared in my veins and I felt more powerful than I had ever done before.

Tamlin pulled me down, placing me with surprising gentleness on the bed, before he pulled his tunic over his golden head. I didn't let myself dwell on his naked torso, afraid that I would start panicking if I did. Instead, I focused on the task ahead. I had to time this perfectly if I were to succeed. He traced his fingers along my thighs, coming to a rest at the edge of my nightgown, mid-thigh.

"You can't imagine how much I missed this." He mumbled hoarsely and brought his lips to mine, letting his tongue bore into my mouth, conquering me. I fought the urge to throw him off and tried to follow him. My hands on his bare back felt foreign, detached. My body and mind were two separate beings, performing their own tasks. I felt his right hand slide up, up, up, no longer skimming the edge of my nightgown, but moving towards the apex of my thighs and what lay between them. His left hand made to cup my breast and as his fingertips brushed the sensitive skin there, I struck.

Something had clicked into place while I fought off the daemati and I was in complete control of my mental powers. The strength and determination of a high lady surged in my veins and I saw everything clearly. I was not only Feyre, former human, survivor of Amarantha, mate of Rhysand, I was the High Lady of the night court - I wielded the combined powers of the seven high lords.

The ease with which I breached his mind stood in stark contrast to my previous attempts. I brushed past his defences as a shadow of his own making, masked in cedar and lilac. I was in complete control, and even though I clearly saw that curious obstacle that had held me at bay earlier, I had no trouble seizing control. My gamble had worked. The passion and desire roaming in his body left him vulnerable. I could finally access his mind. I felt his body go taut beneath me as I willed it to stop his advances on my body.

I had no time to dwell on the sensation of finally gaining entrance to his mind. I focused entirely on the task at hand – making sure that I embedded a false memory that showed us making love. Rhys had taught me that it was easier to feed off real experiences when twisting the truth, so I drew on the memory of us enjoying each other, getting lost in the throes of passion.

I began weaving images which would become his new memories, into his mind. Some were of us, ripping off the remainder of our clothes to feel the nakedness of each other. Others were of his mouth on my body, my mouth on his, nipping and licking at the sensitive spots. I made sure to make him remember the thrust of his hips as he sheathed himself in me with possessive power, and me, moaning his name over and over, I didn't let myself react to the images taking form. I had to keep a cold distance or my disgust would entangle itself in my perfect, fake memory. When I was certain that he remembered nothing but our mingled breaths, the sensation of our skin touching, his completion and me, falling asleep in his arms, I made him dress and walk out with a sudden urge to check the grounds, to make sure that whatever had frightened me in the garden earlier, had not returned.

As he slid out of my room on silent feet, the feelings that I had kept bottled up came rushing in, washing over me in waves of fear, guilt and disgust. I had taken control of his mind – _his mind._ I could have destroyed him completely with a few thoughts. Bile rose in my throat and I scrambled to the bathroom, just in time. I had spent so many nights in here, pressed against the cool marble of the toilet, wishing for it to end – this was no different.

When I finished heaving, I sat back against the wall letting the events of the last hour wash over me. I felt terrible. I had violated Tamlin's mind, and no matter how justified I felt I was, I couldn't shake the guilt. This was definitely a power to fear.

Alone, on the floor of my luxurious bathroom, doubt came creeping in. Tampering with Tamlin's memories was a risk. If anyone found out, be it the king or Tamlin himself, it could be disastrous. I'd done my best to weave the memory into the very fibre of his being by using his own power, but was it enough?

 _Stop it_ my mind answered and I shook myself. I just had to trust in my abilities and keep up appearances. No one would think to look twice at our supposed love, if I was visibly, nauseatingly in love with him. And if I had to do this every night, I would.

I crawled back to bed after an hour, truly exhausted. It was midnight, and before drifting off, I tugged at the bond, which I had kept thoroughly shielded during my time with Tamlin. Immediately, a sense of Rhys filled my mind, and I let out a small breath. He was there, at the end of the line.

 _Feyre, darling_. His voice echoed in my head, carried down the bridge that linked us. It was faint, like a whisper of a wind coming from far away. I smiled. I would never be alone again. My eyes grew heavy and I fell asleep, thinking of my mate and my court.

I was brutally awakened at dawn by fists pounding at my door.

"Up, up up, lazy female! Training is about to commence."

I groaned at Lucien's too cheery voice that sounded from the other side of my locked door. The pounding continued.

"I'll keep this up all day if I have to," he yelled, using both fists now.

I buried myself beneath my covers, using a pillow to muffle the sound. I was _so_ not getting up now.

His fists were relentless and I wondered why no one told him to stop. He must have woken the entire manor. I caught myself hoping that Tamlin would have finished him yesterday and sighed. No, that was not what I wanted.

"Feyyruhh" he called, over the pounding "Feeeeeeeyruuuh." Insufferable – he was insufferable.

"Don't make me break the locks." He threatened.

"Fine. I'm coming." I said from underneath the pillow.

"Did I hear something? Because if not…"

"FINE! I'm up." I yelled, throwing the pillow at the door in defiant anger. It didn't matter that it would not hit its target.

"You have ten minutes before I go in there and dress you myself." He said, and his footsteps drifted off, towards the stairwell.

I rose from my bed, mumbling to myself about early mornings and stupid males. I unlocked the door and a pair of servants were already waiting, ready to dress me, even if they looked rather distraught. How I missed Alis; she would have enjoyed this. I suddenly remembered the reason that she was not and for a second I couldn't breathe. She had not deserved to be punished, not when she had saved my life. I made a mental note to find out more about her fate, before turning my attention to the two servants who had already finished dressing me.

For once, I was not dressed in frilly gowns – instead I was clad in a practical tunic and pants with beautiful silver stitches to emphasise the green of the clothes. My gold-brown hair was braided into a single braid down my back and I wore a pair of comfortable, brown leather boots. For the first time since I returned to the spring court, I felt comfortable. I smiled a thanks to the servants, who disappeared as soon as they could, obviously not wanting to be here when Lucien returned.

I frowned at the thought of my rude awakening, and even though I _knew_ it was childish and obstinate, I stayed in my room, waiting for him to return. It would give me a few minutes of peace as well. Training with Lucien would be difficult. Not because of the actual training but because I had to be careful in showing him how much exactly I had learned at the night court. I doubted training with Lucien would be as gruelling as training with Cassian, who was relentless when it came to perfecting the exercises. Either way, I really looked forward to finally _do_ something, despite it being the King's orders.

I heard his steps long before he halted outside my door calling in a sensible tone

"I know you're ready. Do you want to train or play childish games the entire day?" he drawled, lightly tapping the door with a nail.

My blood boiled and I could feel my ears heating from it. Bastard. I threw open the doors, scowling at his scarred face which was set in a mask of innocence. He enjoyed this way too much.

"Let's go." I snapped, stomping past him down the stairwell and outside. When I reached the front garden, I realized that I had no idea where I was going. Even though I had lived here for quite some time, I had never been to or even seen a training area. I turned to Lucien, who stood a few feet behind, grinning smugly at me.

"Where?" I hissed, not bothering to utter a full sentence. It was too early and he was too cheerful.

"You're in a lovely mood this morning. Sleep well?"

I barred my teeth at him, crossing my arms. We waited, standing in front of each other like two combatants. I realised that the wariness and suspicion which usually followed Lucien when he was around me, was gone. I sensed only amusement and determination. He really _was_ enjoying himself, not just sizing me up. He had told me how difficult it had been here, when I had left for the night court. Maybe he needed this too. Needed to get away from the manor, from Tamlin.

I relaxed my shoulders and gave him a small smile, still lined with annoyance at the early hour.

"Would you be so kind, oh great and fearsome warrior, to lead the way to the training grounds."

His answering grin was enticing, "My pleasure."

He offered me his arm, and lead me towards the stables.

"So, how _did_ you sleep." He said genuinely

"Well enough." I answered, not wanting to share my hour spent hugging the toilet.

He turned his head to me, his metal eye whirring slightly in its socket, as if picking up some secret signals that only it could sense. I was suddenly struck by the brutality of the scar on his face. I rarely thought about it - it seemed such an integral part of him, but up close, the jarred edges spoke volumes of the force that had made it. He gave me a small smile and shrugged– he knew the direction that my thoughts had taken and didn't want to talk about it. I smiled back – I had scars of my own that I wasn't too keen on discussing.

"Where's Tamlin?" I said, trying to change the unspoken subject.

"At the western border. Checking up on the situation there. A few fairies tried to break through our defences. Nothing major." Lucien said dismissively.

I sensed the lie, but let it go for now.

"Where exactly are we going?" We had passed the stables and walked across a field behind it, towards the treeline at the end.

"Patience is a virtue."

I snorted "Not one I possess."

"I know." He grinned.

The trees were tall and thick, a testimony to their age. I had rarely been to these parts of the woods, hadn't really given it much thought. As we stepped underneath the roof of the trees, the temperature dropped, and the sun almost disappeared, a few rays of light finding their way to the ground through the thick branches stretching out above. The forest floor was covered in moss and fallen leaves, which muted the sound of our steps. Come to think of it, there were no sounds at all. No birds chirping or animals moving. Not even the sound of the wind, blowing through the leaves. I looked at Lucien, but he seemed perfectly at ease, as we continued deeper into the forest.

We must have walked in silence for five minutes, when he stopped and turned towards me with a mocking smile.

"Here we are." He pointed towards the trees ahead.

I couldn't see a damn thing. I was about to tell him to quit messing around, when I felt it. Directly in front of us there was a slight stirring in the air, like a soft humming. Lucien stepped towards it and with a last look at me, disappeared completely.

Involuntarily I gave a small yelp. Had he winnowed? _No,_ I hadn't felt the distinct sensation of the world folding in on itself. This must be a glamour. And a very, very strong one. I took a deep breath and stepped forward, my right hand stretched in front of me.

With one step, I had left the gloomy forest behind and now faced a bright, open field, filled with fae who were all engaged in different types of training. A variety of familiar sounds enveloped me as I took in the scene; metal clanging on metal, grunts of pain and orders from commanders. These were the training fields and I hadn't even known they existed. I felt utterly stupid for not having thought about it before. Of course the spring court had soldiers and of course they were training.

"Well, here we are. The training fields." Lucien interrupted my thoughts and I had to tear my eyes away from the different areas of training to focus on him.

"How? Where?" I asked, still shocked that this place had appeared out of nowhere.

"The how is a well-preserved secret that has been lost to us. Sometime in the past, the lords of the spring court created this place for training purposes and it has been in use ever since. It is hidden from anyone but those who are accepted by the High Lord of Spring. We don't know how, but it is very convenient." I stared at him as his words sunk in. This training ground had been used for centuries, maybe more.

"and to answer your second question, we are still in the woods. You've merely stepped through the glamour and into reality. "

"But why? Why hide it? Everyone must know that you have soldiers?"

"Yes, but as you know Fae are a secretive people. The different courts are always locked in various power-struggles. By hiding our training this effectively, we have the upper hand if a war should occur. In times of peace, we do not use the fields as much but…" his voice trailed off as he looked from me to the enormous field which was somehow almost completely filled with fae, training.

"These are not times of peace." I finished for him.

"No." He said, softer than I had expected.

We walked towards the centre of the field, which was littered with tents of varying sizes, along with an area reserved for eating. Compared to the bleakness of the Illyrian war camps, this was almost too perfect. The soldiers were all focused on their training, be it with swords, daggers, bows or hand-to-hand combat. I _did_ notice the small looks they gave us, gave me, as we walked, but no one approached us. Lucien stopped as we reached the centre of the grounds. Here, rows of different weapons gleamed in the sun, ready to be used. I took in a deep breath, readying my body and mind for what was to come.

"Today, we will begin with basic fighting techniques, but before that I would like to see how skilled you are with a bow."

Memories of me, aiming an arrow at his chest in the woods of the night court flashed through my mind. He would never let me forget that.

"I'm really not…"

"Don't." Lucien interrupted. "Don't pretend that you don't know how to use it. I'm not _that_ stupid." The bitterness in his voice was obvious, and I wondered just how long we could balance this new-found friendship – or whatever it was – before one of us snapped.

I gave him a shrug and picked up a training bow. It was made from one piece of wood, and the smooth curve was perfect for my small frame. It fit well in my hands and as I pulled. then released the string, it sang to me. This was a fine bow, and would serve my purpose. Lucien nodded in approval and led me to an area of target practice. We stood far from anyone else, either to keep what I could do hidden or to make sure that no one was distracted by Tamlin's pet, training alongside them.

"Try not to miss." Lucien said with a smile. I made an obscene gesture and focused on the bow.

The time spent hunting in the woods to feed my family, and the training I had received from Cassian made my body react on instinct and as I nocked an arrow and pulled the string back, everything felt just right. I fired four arrows rapidly, each hitting their targets, not in the dead centre, but close enough. I relaxed my shoulders and lowered the bow to my side.

Lucien let out a low whistle, "So, you've already mastered the bow. I guess there's more of a huntress in you than we thought." His tone was light, but underneath it, there was a question too. How had I gotten that good, just by hunting rabbit and deer in the mortal lands? _Careful._ I had to be so damned careful. A huntress, he said. Yes, I was a huntress. And I would show him the huntress, not the warrior.

I smiled at him, handing him my bow. "What now?"

"Ah, so eager to begin. I'll soon have you begging for mercy."

"Show me then." I grinned, actually looking forward to this.

Lucien guided me to a secluded part of the enormous field, shielded with walls of fabric. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"I know, I know, this seems silly, but Tam still doesn't want anyone to witness your training apart from a select few. This is merely a precaution.

"Doesn't he trust his own soldiers?" My voice was clipped, strained. I was sick of getting special treatment. Sick of being protected like this.

"Trust is a rare commodity." Lucien said sadly.

Something in his voice made me pause and look at him, both with my eyes and my mind. His sadness was infinite, but there was also a sense of betrayal and hopelessness. Once again, I wondered what had happened between him and Tamlin in the months I had been away?

I opened my mouth to speak, to console him or question him, I didn't know, but he shook his head and interrupted me.

"I'm going to teach you basic fighting techniques, which are useful in any situation and with any weapon. We'll work with your punches and your stance and when you have perfected it, we will move on to handling weapons. You will _not_ be allowed to use a weapon, before I am satisfied with your basic training."

I groaned. This sounded too much like what I had done with Cassian. Lucien winked at me, then swiftly threw out his hands while swiping the ground with his left leg. I knew the move well, had been thrown to the floor by it enough times to anticipate it. I could easily have dodged it, but that would probably give away too much and make Lucien question what else I could do, so I let him throw me down.

"Lesson number one – always be prepared." Lucien laughed as he hauled me to my feet. I bared my teeth at him, "That's not fair. I didn't know that we had started."

"Combat isn't about being fair. It's about winning." Lucien said.

In the hours that followed, Lucien took me through the basics. How to position my feet, how to hit, how to dodge. I had already mastered this and struggled not to show it. At times I was sure that I saw understanding glimmer in his russet eye, when I dodged an attack too swiftly, but he never brought it up.

I enjoyed working with him – it gave us both a sense of purpose and he really was an excellent teacher. He might not be a born fighter like the Illyrians, but he knew what he was doing. In some ways, his training suited me better than Cassian's. Lucien relied on his swiftness and lithe body, not brute strength. After hours of training, both our bodies glistened with sweat and our breaths came out in small puffs.

"Maybe you should take a break." A voice sounded from behind – Tamlin.

Luckily, I had my back to him, which gave me a fraction of a second to compose myself and remember the right way to act towards him. I loved him, we had spent the night together, I had to shine. Lucien's metal eye whirred slightly and he looked at me with a puzzled look, before relaxing his posture.

"A break might be in order. Feyre has really deserved it." Was it respect that I heard in his voice?

I turned to Tamlin, a bright smile in place. He looked at me, noting the sweat trickling down my brow, the tautness of my body and my shallow breaths. His eyes darkened slightly and a small frown curved his lips, but he shook them off in a second and brought me a glass of water.

"Been working hard, I see." He said, tracing a finger along my collarbone.

"Lucien is a relentless partner." I grinned, hoping he would catch the humour in my voice.

"You keep up well enough." Lucien answered, grinning as well.

Tamlin visibly relaxed and said, "Are you okay?"

Again, with the protectiveness, "Yes, I am perfectly fine." My eyes probably showed my annoyance because he smiled apologetically, "Just checking."  
"I know." I sighed.

"After last night, I wasn't sure you would have the strength to train this hard." His right hand ran down my back in a suggestive movement and his green eyes sparkled with mischief and desire. It was an effort to lean into his touch, instead of flinching. I had no fond memories of last night, only me, violating his mind. At least it had worked.

I gave him what I hoped was a smile filled with desire and casually walked to the small table placed at the right side, to refill my glass. I needed to get away from the intimacy.

"So, when we're done here, maybe we could go riding." I said to both Tamlin and Lucien. I needed an excuse to _not_ be alone with Tamlin for the entire afternoon and evening.

"Actually, Feyre…" Tamlin said hesitantly "I have to go, and I won't return until tomorrow."

I looked at him, quizzically. "Is everything alright?"

"It's fine. I just have to take care of things at the Western border and it's easier if I spend the night."

The western borders again. I sighed, "That's what I get for choosing a High Lord."

Tamlin smiled, a slow, concerned smile that did nothing to convince me that everything was fine. "I will be back tomorrow. Promise."

I walked to him and threw my arms around his neck – better get this over with.

"Be safe." I whispered in his ear and gave him a small kiss.

"Always." He answered before pressing me to him, his lips parting mine in a deep, hungry kiss. He didn't seem to care that Lucien was standing right beside us. Or maybe he wanted him to see.

Tamlin turned to Lucien and said gravely "Take care of her."

"I will." Lucien answered.

And with that, Tamlin left.

"The Western borders?" I immediately said, but Lucien shrugged and waved the question off. "Not now."

I hated that answer. Hated it more than anything. But I knew that no amount of begging and pushing would get him to tell me, if he had been ordered not to. No, I had to go with a more subtle approach.

"Fine."

He looked at me, obviously surprised that I was ready to let the topic go. I gave him an innocent smile and he narrowed his eyes.

"What?" He demanded.  
"Not now." I answered, innocently.

And then he roared with laughter. I was so shocked by his sudden outburst that I just gaped at him. I was not _that_ funny.

"Oh, Ferye. I actually _have_ missed you." He gasped, still half laughing.

"Like I didn't know." I smiled, my eyes bright with pent-up laughter. _Real_ laughter. In that moment, I knew that whatever Lucien had or hadn't done, he was still a friend. And we might not be able to forgive each other, not yet, but unknowingly, he was instrumental in helping me destroy Tamlin. Without him, I wasn't sure that I could keep up appearances.

"Ready for round two?" Lucien's voice cut through my thoughts and I watched him take a defensive stance.

 _For the night court. For Rhys, Amren, Mor, Azriel, Cassian, Nesta, Elain… Lucien_ my mind whispered "Ready." I said with conviction.


	13. Chapter 13

_I'm sorry for the wait. Unfortunately I've been sick, going in and out of hospital. I'm still not quite alright, but I hope to keep updating once every 3-4 weeks. I had difficulties writing the end of the chapter, but I decided to post it now, rather than spend another 3 days editing. I hope you still enjoy it._

 **Chapter 13  
Feyre**

The sun blinded me with its sharp rays, as I lay flat on the ground, gasping for air. A few white clouds moved lazily across the blue sky, a testament to the lovely spring weather. I closed my eyes, enjoying the warmth of the sun, caressing my face. I could almost deceive myself into believing that I was some place safe, some place quiet. Drowning out the noise of the training around me was easy enough. It was the smell and the _feel_ of this place that made it difficult to imagine that I was anywhere but at the training fields at the spring court.

A shadow blocked out the sun and I opened my eyes to find Lucien, standing over me, a wicked grin on his handsome, yet scared face.

"Had enough already?" he mocked.

"Already? We've been at it for four hours?" I said, my breath catching on the words.

"You've had plenty of breaks." He stuck out his hand to pull me up.  
"More like, three small ones." I grumbled as I took his outstretched arm, pulling myself up from the ground. I took satisfaction in the fact that he too was covered in sweat and dust. Also, I could have sworn that his eyes flickered with exhaustion and maybe even slight admiration. He probably hadn't expected me to keep up and not complain. At least not complain too much.

Lucien grinned, handing me a cup of water, which I gulped down in seconds.

"Easy there. I won't hold your hair if you start hurling your guts up." His words were easy and playful, but they still struck a chord. I had spent too much time at the spring court bent over a toilet.

Lucien noticed the subtle change in me, even though I tried to smile back. His metal eye whirred and he swallowed hard,

"Feyre I…" He began but I cut him off with a wave. I did not have it in me to get into this. Not right now. Not with my body aching from the hours spent hitting, kicking and dodging. Lucien was true to his words. He was a relentless trainer, always nagging at my posture, my punches and my angles. Even though I _had_ held back, he had still driven me to the edge of exhaustion. And I did not want to break the lightness between us. I had actually felt normal these few hours. I had focused on my body and had pushed everything else to the back of my mind. I gave him a wicked grin, before I made a sweeping motion with my left foot, tripping him.

"Always be prepared." I said, trying to maintain a serious demeanour. While falling, water from his cup splashed all over his face, mixing with the sweat and dust already coating it. He looked at me with such bewilderment that I couldn't help it - I broke down laughing.

"Very funny, Feyre!" Lucien scowled, but he too was fighting a laugh.

"You… you look… dreadful." I sputtered, tears rolling down my cheeks from laughter.

Lucien wrinkled his nose in dismay, "Look who's talking." He shot back, but his retort was diminished by him getting up, while trying to straighten his hair and wipe his face. Fae males and their vanity.

"Come now" I smiled, "you deserved it."

He snorted, but didn't deny it. Good.

"We should get back to the manor." His eyes darkened, "I have other duties to attend to."

I cringed at that. I guess training me _was_ a duty. I had almost forgotten about the King's demands in the hours that we had been here. Lucien motioned for me to follow him, and just like that, the easy playfulness of training together was gone. We both had to return to an uncertain reality, where we weren't necessarily on the same side. As we moved through the shield, back into the forest of the spring court, we both tensed, as if readying for a fight. I looked at Lucien and gave him a weak smile. He gave my arm a light squeeze before hurrying towards the manor. He left me on the outskirts of the stables with a hurried, "Same place and time tomorrow." and then he was gone.

I couldn't decide if I was relieved or a bit sad to see him go. I shrugged, and made my way to my room, where a hot bath was already waiting for me. The warmth of the bath soothed my aching muscles and as I lay in the tub, enveloped in water, I could almost feel my body and soul recharging. I would enjoy this day in peace. No Tamlin, no Lucien and hopefully no Ianthe.

The day moved by in blessed peace. I spent most of it in the library, curled up in a comfy chair near the enormous windows facing the garden. I'd chosen a book with old fae-fables, meant for children, but the colourful pictures and the lightness of the stories spoke to me on another level. These were my people now; I would learn their history and stories. I only paused my reading to eat a light lunch, brought by my usual servants, and to gaze out the window to the open sky beyond. I could almost feel the wind softly caressing my face as Rhys held me tight, his massive wings gliding elegantly through the air. The bond was silent and a small part of me worried about the Hybern attack, but I pushed it away. If something serious had happened, I would be able to sense it. And so I waited, looking forward to midnight.

At dinnertime, Lucien found me and dragged me downstairs, claiming that he did not like eating alone. I grumbled a bit, not especially keen on getting through dinner with awkward small talk, but my fears were put to shame. None of us were interested in fighting or debating serious matters. Instead we talked about today's training and I made a point of reminding him that he had not beaten me. We ate and talked for a couple of hours, before I excused myself. It had been a long day. Back in my room, I settled onto the bed with my book, eagerly awaiting midnight.

I felt it long before I could see it. An insistent push and pull in the bond. I could almost feel Rhys's hands grab my waist, enveloping me in shadow and soothing darkness. I closed my eyes, and immediately felt the world shift around me. This time, I had been transported directly between. When I opened my eyes, the shimmering, starlit walls greeted me as an old friend, letting their sparks dance along my skin.

The moment he entered the room, I felt it. My entire being focused on him, on his presence. Our bodies, our souls were drawn to each other by invisible bonds that ached to be close. I turned slowly, wanting to savour the moment of feeling him getting closer.

Without looking at him, I stepped directly into his arms and pressed my body to his. Oh, I had missed him. I _still_ missed him, even though he was right here. I buried my nose in his tunic, inhaling the scent of _him_ – of my mate. His arms hugged med tightly, and when I made to pull away, he merely pulled me in, harder.  
"Easy there." I half-laughed, "no need to squeeze the life completely out of me."

He huffed, but didn't let go. I settled in his arms, perfectly happy to stay in them forever. After a minute or two, he loosened his grip, tilted my head upwards and found my lips. I burst into a million pieces as our breaths mingled in a slow, lingering kiss. I wanted him. I _needed_ him. And he needed me.

"Darling" he whispered, his voice soft and I realized that silent tears flowed down my cheeks in a steady stream. I tried to smile, but it turned into a sob and I buried myself in Rhys's strong arms once again. He held me through it, stroked my hair and whispered unintelligible words in my ears. Even when my nose clotted and I began to snivel to keep gooey, gross snot from ruining his tunic even more, he held on tight. When I finally emerged from his embrace, hair looking a mess and my face puffy and disgusting, he merely gave me a concerned smile.

"Better?"

I smiled weakly at him, trying desperately to fix my dishevelled look. "This was definitely not how I wanted to spend our time."

"We both needed this" He said, stroking my cheek with his thumb.

"You needed me to snot all over your finest tunic?" I teased weakly.

"You know what I mean, smart ass." He laughed. "And by the way, you know that I don't have a _finest_ tunic. They are all perfect."

His cockiness was just what I needed to feel more like me, like _us._ "Pretentious pig." I grinned, hugging him close, before releasing him entirely.

I hadn't taken the time to look at him, not properly, but when I searched his familiar features, I was taken aback by the gauntness of his face. His skin seemed pale, beneath his tan. His beautiful, violet eyes were clouded, a far-cry from their usual bright vibrancy. Even his smooth, black hair looked dull and tattered.

"Rhys." I gasped.

"Feyre. Before you jump to any conclusions, I am fine. We are all fine."

"What's going on?" I demanded, immediately ashamed that I hadn't noticed the state he was in. Along with my physical scrutiny, I searched along his inner shields, brushing against his defences. Everything seemed normal.

He sighed dramatically. "As I said, I'm fine." He'd obviously felt my consciousness in his mind.

I relaxed a fracture of an inch, but remained alert. Something was obviously draining him.

A comfortable couch appeared, created by the starlit walls, and he pulled me down, placing me on his lap, with my head resting on his shoulders.

"Over-protective." He breathed in my ear, his warm breath sending spikes of ravenous desire through my aching body.

"Look who's talking." I retorted under my breath.

He didn't answer, but I could feel his eyes on me, as he let his fingers play with my hair. I leaned into the touch, craving the closeness of my mate. I knew he wanted… no _needed_ to tell me what had happened. He just needed time. So I gathered all my patience and waited.  
"They attacked as you said." He finally said. "At the eastern borders."

I sucked in air. So it had happened already? I guess I knew that they would strike, but… Rhys interrupted my thoughts as he continued.

"This time I had time to draw on the full extent of my powers. They didn't stand a chance, really."

 _Cocky much_ I whispered, mind to mind. A soft laugh sounded in my head in response.

"Our forces at the borders dealt with the intruders there and we suffered minimal losses. All because of you and your nosiness." A thank you and a worried reprimand. I smiled at that. I knew how difficult it was not being able to help.

"I _am_ high lady after all. Who should look after my people if not me?"

" _Your_ people?" Rhys smiled back.

"Fine. _Our_ people then." I conceded, looking into the violet depths of his eyes. Even dimmed, they were stunning. I could get lost in them forever, without even realising it. I pulled him closer, lightly brushing my lips against his. I missed this so much. The easiness of being with him, no matter what happened around us. I nuzzled his neck with my nose, settling against his chest.

"What happened? And don't give me the _everything-is-fine_ speech. I want to know what happened. In details thank you."

He sighed heavily, but conceded.

"It's easier if I just show you. At least the important parts."

We'd done this before, but it was still a shocking experience, gliding past his mental shields, into the antechamber of his mind. Darkness caressed me, soft and seductive, waiting for me to open my shields.

" _Bastard!" Mor's voice rang through the dining room as I - Rhys - leaned casually against the wall. I had expected her reaction to the news that Feyre had stumbled upon._

 _A twinge of fear shot through my body. My mate was deep behind enemy lines, risking her life for us, and I couldn't get to her - which was of course exactly why Mor threw a fit. She wanted to go get Feyre right away, before her position became any more dangerous. But I couldn't allow that – not yet. Besides, Feyre would be furious._

" _Maybe it's time to move." Az's level voice was a sharp contrast to Mor's fiery rage. He still suffered immensely from what had happened to Cass – he couldn't let go of his part in it._

 _I sighed. "No, not yet. There's still more to learn."_

 _Mor let out a frustrated snort and threw her hands in the air. "By the cauldron, Rhys. She has done enough! The warning about the attack is important, yes, but what if someone sees her? What if they discover the bond? She's not like us – she hasn't trained for centuries. Don't you want her…" Mor's voice cut off abruptly as she noticed how the room had grown dark and menacing. Shadows whirled around me – around Rhys, and Azriel took a step towards Mor, to protect or to make her stop._

" _Do not presume to know how I feel Morrigan!" The voice lashed through the darkness, cold and clear._

 _Mor, knowing she had pushed too hard, plumped into a chair, propping her head on a hand, "Of course. It's just that I really miss her. And with everything that's going on with Cass… We need her."_

" _I know." I-we- replied, taking calming breathes._

 _Az, sensing that the danger had passed for now, cleared his throat and spoke. "If Feyre's information is correct, we could be facing Hybern within the hour. We need to protect Velaris, but it is equally important that they do not gain a stronghold in the east."_

" _Indeed. Amren and I will stay in Velaris – together we will be able to keep Hybern at bay." I could probably do it alone, but I didn't want to take the risk. The king had surprised us before. "Mor, you'll join Azriel and Cass at the eastern border. Take two Illyrian battalions with you – it should be enough." Mor and Az shared a look at the mention of Cass, but I didn't waver. We needed him and he needed to feel useful._

" _What about Elain and Nesta?" Mor interjected. At the mention of Feyre's sisters I shuddered. Since that day in the cabin, I hadn't talked to them. I knew Mor visited quite often, but I couldn't stand it. Not when Nesta's grey-blue eyes reminded me so much of my mate._

 _I swallowed hard, then continued, "They'll be safe at the cabin."_

" _Maybe, but I'm not sure you can get them to stay." Mor smiled a cruel smile. "The Archeron sisters are stubborn as mules and they do not like being left behind."_

 _I sighed, "They are not ready for battle. They would only endanger themselves and others. I cannot worry about them too." There was no way that I would allow Feyre's untrained sisters access to a battlefield. My mate would skin me alive – and rightly so._

" _Maybe Nesta could…" Az started but I interrupted him immediately._

" _NO."_

 _Az shrugged and continued, unabashed, "Your wish is my command, my lord." I – in the form of Rhys – winced at the words, but did not back down._

" _We'll meet when it is over at the usual spot."_

 _Az and Mor nodded, then winnowed away._

The scene changed, following the memories that Rhys wanted me to see. The next thing I knew, we were standing in the middle of Velaris, facing east towards the water.

" _I still don't understand why we have to stay out in the cold, when we could just as well be inside." Amren's characteristic voice was clipped. A smile tugged at my lips because I knew how much she loathed discomfort of any kind._

" _We must be ready." I said, a slight strain in my voice. I had enveloped Velaris in my own power, as a precaution. Darkness dominated the empty streets, ready to do my bidding. The strain of keeping the veil in place was a discomfort, but one that I could easily endure._

" _The wards will hold." Amren said matter-of-factly._

" _Probably."_

 _She clicked her tongue. "Nothing short of the king himself could bring them down."_

 _I – Rhys – gave her a look._

" _I really don't…" She was cut short by a deep sound of ringing followed by a bone-deep shutter that seemed to run through the air. I flung out my conscience, and immediately detected a sense of otherness and hostility. The attack had begun._

 _I felt the wards stretch and writhe from the attack – but they held. The well of power inside me churned, as I mended the wards quicker than the enemy could strike. The attack continued for almost an hour. The city held its breath as the air grew thick with the power emanating from the wards and from me._

 _Amren said nothing. She merely watched the east, seemingly calm, but beneath her skin, I could sense the massive expanse of her power, ready for wielding, should we need it._

" _I told you, there was no need for us to stay out here." She said, as the last attack wore off and the sense of otherness disappeared with it. Despite her arrogant words, I noticed how her shoulders relaxed and she drew in a deep breath._

 _I – we - gave her a small smile, and her eyes fixed on my face._

" _You look like hell."_

" _Let's go." I said, scooping Amren into my arms and jumping into the night sky. Hopefully, the others had been equally succesful._

The scene changed again, and Rhys whispered in my mind. _"Last one, I promise."_

 _We leaned against the wall, looking at my newly arrived court. It took a great deal of restraint not to rush forward at the sight of Mor's bleeding arm and Cass's hollow eyes. I had to show strength._

" _Explain." My second demanded, as she took them in._

 _Mor gave her a wry smile, that eased the worry I felt._

" _We beat them."_

 _Amren tapped her foot, waiting for more._

" _They attacked at the eastern borders, as Feyre said. I don't know how many – enough to have posed a threat if they had gotten a foothold, not enough to handle two battalions of illyrians."_

" _And that?" Amren pointed to the blood on her arm._

 _Mor shrugged "I was careless. They nicked me with a blade." Something in her tone had me stiffening. There was something she was not telling._

" _Mor…" I warned, but Cassian stepped forward,  
"It was _my _fault. I tried to take on three attors, but these," he pointed towards his ruined wings that were tucked close to his body, "are useless." There was no mistaking the bitterness of his words. "Mor saved me."_

" _You could have done it. I just wanted my share of the glory." Mor joked, but Cass waved her off, "Don't."_

 _I looked to Azriel, who had kept back. His face told me enough about the situation. I sighed inwardly. The situation with his wings was precarious. We needed a solution, and fast._

" _Casualties?" I asked, only now noticing how weak I felt._

" _Some," Mor replied, "but not enough to weaken us in any way."_

 _I nodded. Good. We had survived. The night court had survived, and for now, we were safe._

The memory faded, as the walls around Rhys's mind closed around me, shoving me gently outside the perimeters of his impressive defences.

I stumbled back, as my mind flexed into place. Being in someone else's mind always took its toll. Rhys caught me with a steadying hand.

"See, everything is just fine."

"You were attacked by Hybern. I wouldn't call that _fine._ "

"This was nothing. The king is testing us, trying to find our weak points. He knows better than to risk a full-scale war at this point." Rhys's eyes drifted away, obviously lost in either memories or future scenarios.

"Even if you are all fine," I said pointedly, hinting at his unusually ragged exterior, "I still have questions."

"Of course you do, Feyre darling." His teasing couldn't distract me, not now.

"What is going on with Cass? Why haven't his wings healed yet? And Mor? Why is she so on edge? Are you still working on the Book of Breathings? And what about Nesta and Elain? Why would you even consider letting…." My tirade was cut short by a pair of soft lips, nipping at my earlobes. My back arched as Rhys let his tongue trace my jawline, placing small kisses along the way.

"You were saying?" His low, husky voice only added to the fire I felt within. Immediately, my hands started warming up to the point of burning. I took a few deep breathes, supressing my powers enough to control my inner fire. I moaned into his tunic, entwining my hands in his beautiful, soft hair.

"I thought I heard you say how you adore your mate. How he is the most beautiful creature you have ever laid eyes upon. How you cannot think when he is near." His right hand traced idle circles down my back, as his left hand grabbed my own and entwined our fingers.

"Not fair." I gasped.

His eyes caught mine, as he slowly closed the already small distance between us with his mouth. I don't know how long I was lost in his embrace. In that moment, it didn't even matter. We might be high lord and lady, but we were also just two people, madly in love.

"Can't we just stay here?" I wanted each moment with him to last a life time and what better way than being stuck between.

His smile held both love and infinite sadness. "I wish."

The burden of the last days began emerging again, as I realised that I would have to go back soon. Back to Ianthe's schemes and Tamlin's unbearable love. Back to being an obedient wife-to-be. Sensing the turn my thoughts had taken, Rhys took my hands in his and quietly said, "Talk to me."

And I did. I told him of the daemati's attack, which he of course knew had happened, but I needed him to hear it all. I told him about Ianthe's behaviour and her relation to the king. About the eerie silence of the manor and the awkward dinners with Tamlin and Lucien. When I got to the part about Tamlin attacking Lucien, Rhys stiffened and the room grew gloomy and cold. His mighty wings bristled in a non-existent breeze and his knuckles were pressed together – hard. "Did he hurt you?"

"No." I said, my voice cold from the memory. "I had to reveal bits of my powers though, to keep him from hurting Lucien too badly." Rhys gave me a short nod, and I continued. I filled him in on my new training exercises, ordered by the king. I even told him of my first lesson with Lucien, and how I had actually enjoyed it.

I felt lighter with every sentence. I was no longer completely alone with my thoughts. Rhys was here, listening to everything that had happened in painstaking detail.

When I wall all talked out, I relaxed into a comfy chair, summoned by the powers of Between. Aside from his short interruption, Rhys let me talk until I had nothing left to share. His features grew increasingly dark and menacing, and when he spoke, his pent-up anger was easy to hear.

"You're telling me that not only did Tamlin make a stupid deal with the king to get you back, he also traded in your _services_?"

I nodded, but before I could speak, Rhys continued, "Tamlin can't expect you to help him break the wall to the mortal lands. They are your people too? What's he planning to avoid this?" Rhys spoke more to himself than me, and I could sense his rage through the bond. It threatened to take over completely and I struggled to soothe the roaring darkness that emerged from the mating bond. We had to keep our cool.  
"I don't know what his plans are. He hasn't exactly been forthcoming. I'm hoping that will change now that he believes we are intimate again." I said, a faint blush of shame on my cheeks.

Rhys deflated immediately. All his anger vanished, as if someone had blown it out.

"Feyre." He whispered, his pain so obvious that I wished I had kept my mouth shut. I knew he would blame himself.

"We've been over this. I'll do what I have to, which is warp his mind into believing we spend the nights together."  
Rhys stared back, the pain pushed back by surprise, "You can control his mind?"

"Yes."

"It usually takes years of practice." He looked at me with pride now, "High lady indeed."

I could have laughed with relief. Just like that, he put the thought of Tamlin and me behind him. He had to, if he wanted us to succeed.

"I had the perfect teacher." I smiled, reaching for him. I needed to touch him, to feel that this was real.

His touch was light as a feather, as his fingers danced across the bare skin on my arm. They traced the swirls and patterns of my glamoured tattoo perfectly, knowing exactly how it looked. I shivered with delight and anticipation, but before I could grab him and press my lips onto his soft, inviting mouth, he took a small step back and looked straight at me.

"We need to discuss one last thing before…" he paused, a mischievous grin playing on his lips, "before we lose ourselves."

I was already lost, but I looked at him, expectantly.

"For our plans to work we need allies. We need Tarquin."

My mind went blank. Tarquin, the high lord of summer, who had put a price on our heads for stealing the Book and thereby sworn to never have dealings with the night court again.

"How?" I asked, dread creeping into my body.


End file.
